For all you 15 Words or Less folks, your mission is to watch the Poem Starter Video and take on its challenge in, yes, 15 Words or Less. And I’m out doing school and library events today but will get back to read your poems tomorrow or over the weekend:>)
OK, thanks for dropping by my Poem Starter Video party.
Today’s poem comes from Cousins of Clouds: Elephant Poems (Clarion, 2011), by
Tracie Vaughn Zimmer.?Tracie does such a wonderful job of closely observing things, whether it’s animals or careers or anything else, and choosing fine details to bring the reader right there and make the reader see things in new ways. Today’s poem is “Adaptation,” about elephant ears.
Adaptation
Tattered sails of ears
flap in the savannah sun–
air conditioning.–by Tracie Vaughn Zimmer, all rights reserved
And here is my Poem Starter Video:
[wpvideo y8cbgy58]
Tail of hawk
Flips red and bright
Signaling bird watchers
To watch in awe
I like this concept, Ms. Salas! Great idea!
Very nice, Amelia! I’ve been seeing a lot of hawks lately, more than I’ve ever seen in the past. Maybe I’m just more aware?
Beautiful. Love that second line.
Wonderful! I am a bird watcher and those red tails get my attention.
Thanks, Amelia. I really like the way you open. I’m not usually a fan of inverting conversational word order. BUT starting with tail immediately tells us that’s the focus–we zero right in on that rather than the whole hawk.
Tail of hawk
Flips red and bright
Signaling bird watchers
To watch in awe
I like this concept, Ms. Salas! Great idea!
Very nice, Amelia! I’ve been seeing a lot of hawks lately, more than I’ve ever seen in the past. Maybe I’m just more aware?
Beautiful. Love that second line.
Wonderful! I am a bird watcher and those red tails get my attention.
Thanks, Amelia. I really like the way you open. I’m not usually a fan of inverting conversational word order. BUT starting with tail immediately tells us that’s the focus–we zero right in on that rather than the whole hawk.
Slobberific
Boxers, bulldogs,
and others
of that ilk,
slaver, dribble,
and drip.
DROOL
in majuscule!
© Diane Mayr
Drool–not exactly a part of a dog, but certainly a most noticeable characteristic! On babies it’s cute, on dogs, not so much.
I didn’t realize I still had one more word available! I think if I add “abundantly” it will be more rhythmic. What do you think?
Boxers, bulldogs,
and others
of that ilk,
slaver, dribble,
and abundantly drip.
DROOL
in majuscule!
And majuscule is a real word? Seriously! You never cease to amaze. I think it works equally either way, because with abundantly, the first five lines feel more like a metric set, with the final two lines differentiated. Without abundantly, lines 4 and 5 go more with lines 6 and 7. And actually, saying that now, I agree it’s better with abundantly. That way your ending has more punch.
Yes, majuscule is a real word! I was flipping through the rhyming dictionary looking for something to rhyme with drool. I thought drool/pool was a little cliched. I came across majuscule and looked it up:
adjective
1. (of letters) capital.
2. large, as either capital or uncial letters.
3. written in such letters ( opposed to minuscule ).
noun
4. a majuscule letter. from Dictionary.com
“Aha!” I thought, “I’ll put drool in caps!”
I love when poetry, research, and serendipity work together!
DROOL/in majuscule – hahaha I love it. And I learned a new word, majuscule – I had to look it up.
Absolutely. Our mostly beagle, Captain Jack Sparrow, is a drooler extraordinaire :>(
Slobberific
Boxers, bulldogs,
and others
of that ilk,
slaver, dribble,
and drip.
DROOL
in majuscule!
© Diane Mayr
Drool–not exactly a part of a dog, but certainly a most noticeable characteristic! On babies it’s cute, on dogs, not so much.
I didn’t realize I still had one more word available! I think if I add “abundantly” it will be more rhythmic. What do you think?
Boxers, bulldogs,
and others
of that ilk,
slaver, dribble,
and abundantly drip.
DROOL
in majuscule!
And majuscule is a real word? Seriously! You never cease to amaze. I think it works equally either way, because with abundantly, the first five lines feel more like a metric set, with the final two lines differentiated. Without abundantly, lines 4 and 5 go more with lines 6 and 7. And actually, saying that now, I agree it’s better with abundantly. That way your ending has more punch.
Yes, majuscule is a real word! I was flipping through the rhyming dictionary looking for something to rhyme with drool. I thought drool/pool was a little cliched. I came across majuscule and looked it up:
adjective
1. (of letters) capital.
2. large, as either capital or uncial letters.
3. written in such letters ( opposed to minuscule ).
noun
4. a majuscule letter. from Dictionary.com
“Aha!” I thought, “I’ll put drool in caps!”
I love when poetry, research, and serendipity work together!
DROOL/in majuscule – hahaha I love it. And I learned a new word, majuscule – I had to look it up.
Absolutely. Our mostly beagle, Captain Jack Sparrow, is a drooler extraordinaire :>(
Hop on branch,
warm up throat,
avalanche of
mockingbird notes.
?Kate Coombs
This is beautiful. Love how you’ve used avalanche.
Avalanche–that’s fantastic. Especially that it’s used to describe something so joyous.
Hop on branch,
warm up throat,
avalanche of
mockingbird notes.
?Kate Coombs
This is beautiful. Love how you’ve used avalanche.
Avalanche–that’s fantastic. Especially that it’s used to describe something so joyous.
Oh I love “Tattered sails of ears”. What a fabulous haiku!
I don’t think I quite follow the directions, but here’s what today’s prompt inspired:
Sea Urchins
Search the sea
for five-fold symmetry.
We’re spiny balls
that dine on algae.
That’s ok. They’re just poem starters. As long as you start and go, who cares if you followed the directions! Love this–especially the second line. (I wanted another word before algae, I think…)
Thank you for the feedback, Laura. It helps so much to know where a poem doesn’t quite work.
Oh I love “Tattered sails of ears”. What a fabulous haiku!
I don’t think I quite follow the directions, but here’s what today’s prompt inspired:
Sea Urchins
Search the sea
for five-fold symmetry.
We’re spiny balls
that dine on algae.
That’s ok. They’re just poem starters. As long as you start and go, who cares if you followed the directions! Love this–especially the second line. (I wanted another word before algae, I think…)
Thank you for the feedback, Laura. It helps so much to know where a poem doesn’t quite work.
I love the elephant haiku. So compactly complete. I did a haiku, and then another rhymer, both about the squirrel’s tail.
Squirrely Tail Tale
cozy coverlet
feather-duster derri?re?
bushy balancer
Accessory
Sun-shader. Sweeper
for neatnik nest keeper.
Warm blanket sleeper.
A balance for leaper.
~Penny Klostermann
These are both terrific, Penny. I have to admit, feather-duster derriere is my fav. I will never look at a squirrel the same way. And isn’t that exactly what poetry is all about?
I love the elephant haiku. So compactly complete. I did a haiku, and then another rhymer, both about the squirrel’s tail.
Squirrely Tail Tale
cozy coverlet
feather-duster derri?re?
bushy balancer
Accessory
Sun-shader. Sweeper
for neatnik nest keeper.
Warm blanket sleeper.
A balance for leaper.
~Penny Klostermann
These are both terrific, Penny. I have to admit, feather-duster derriere is my fav. I will never look at a squirrel the same way. And isn’t that exactly what poetry is all about?
Love those elephant sails, and this simple, direct description. And the specific focus of all of the short poems folks have written this morning is delightful.
Here’s mine:
Aphid Breakfast
Belly bag
a sweet balloon
that swells but doesn?t pop;
balloon deflates
as honeydew
escapes.
Eeeeueew! I never knew that meaning of honeydew! Thanks for teaching and entertaining in this en-gross-ing (but just a little bit) poem:>)
Love those elephant sails, and this simple, direct description. And the specific focus of all of the short poems folks have written this morning is delightful.
Here’s mine:
Aphid Breakfast
Belly bag
a sweet balloon
that swells but doesn?t pop;
balloon deflates
as honeydew
escapes.
Eeeeueew! I never knew that meaning of honeydew! Thanks for teaching and entertaining in this en-gross-ing (but just a little bit) poem:>)
A tail that’s not
is what
a guinea pig’s got.
Aw–cute!
A tail that’s not
is what
a guinea pig’s got.
Aw–cute!
ON A SUN-SPRAYED AFTERNOON
Wispy strands shimmy
Like tassels, flicking away
An annoying fly.
(C) Charles Waters 2013 all rights reserved.
shimmy/Like tassels = perfection
ON A SUN-SPRAYED AFTERNOON
Wispy strands shimmy
Like tassels, flicking away
An annoying fly.
(C) Charles Waters 2013 all rights reserved.
shimmy/Like tassels = perfection
Such fun to read your poem and then scroll down to read what you inspired….thanks, Laura!
Such fun to read your poem and then scroll down to read what you inspired….thanks, Laura!