Attend Things!
A room full of people I don’t know is fairly intimidating. A big crowded room, even with some people I know thrown in there, is pretty terrifying. As an introvert, I’d much rather stay in my hotel room by myself and read or write. But I keep reminding myself that I could do that a lot more cheaply closer to home. I’m at ALA (or IRA or whatever big conference I’m at) in order to connect with OTHER people. So that means I have to go where those other people are.
So go. Go to that publisher’s breakfast, if a friend of a friend asks you along. Go to the ALA Banquet. Go to the KidLit Drinks Night. Say yes, take a deep breath, and go.
But going isn’t enough. You can go and stand in the corner and not talk to anyone (been there), and then you might as well be back in your hotel room. Instead, put a small stack of your business cards in your wallet or card holder, paste a smile on your nervous face, and talk to people. Remember, you’re not a car salesman trying to get everyone in the room to buy your book. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself, and don’t annoy everyone by being pushy. Instead, make it your goal to find out about them. It takes the spotlight off you but still gives you opportunities to connect with people who might want to buy your book or come to your signing or whatever.
A few basic rules for attending events:
1) Thank the host/hostess/organizer for their hospitality.
2) Don’t try to steal the spotlight from whomever is being honored. If you go to a publisher’s breakfast featuring several of their authors, for instance, don’t run around handing out your business cards. Instead, focus on talking with attendees and saying nice (true) things about the people and books being featured.
3) Smile for the camera. I don’t like me in pictures, but you’ll make a bigger scene by making a fuss about it. Just shut up and smile. There are cameras everywhere, so don’t wear anything embarrassing (hey, it happens), and don’t be the one trying to slink away when it’s picture time. It will just draw more, not less, attention to you. And the pictures will be taken regardless. Even an unflattering smiley shot is usually better than an awkward candid shot.
4) Don’t drink too much. I see it at every conference (hmm, especially at writers’ conferences). It’s always memorable. It’s never pretty.
Here are pix from three events I went to while at ALA:
| It’s Jama from Alphabet Soup! I went to the Katherine Paterson tea in DC. It was held in Tami Lewis-Brown’s (whom I don’t know) gorgeous Georgetown home, which was jam-packed with people (I didn’t know). The whole event was absolutely lovely, but also terrifying. So many people I didn’t know, all so close together. Ack! I did chat with lots of them, and then I retreated inside to hang out with Jama. Relief! | At the ALA Banquet where the Newbery and Caldecott Awards are accepted, it’s a huge banquet hall full of dressed up people on their best behavior–mostly. My table was a mix of people I knew and people I didn’t. That was nice. I could talk with the people I didn’t know, who were extremely nice, and then I could relax with the folks I knew. And Elaine Magliaro of Wild Rose Reader came over to say hi, too! | |
| One way to make public events easier is to hang out with the people who are obviously having a good time. This pic is from the post-Poetry Blast Dinner. Look at Marilyn Singer, co-organizer (with Barbara Genco) of the event, on the right. Clearly, she’s having fun, and you couldn’t help but have fun at her table. And that’s Sylvia Vardell of Poetry for Children on the left. I know her table had a good time, too! | ||
(Coming tomorrow: Opening lines for talking to strangers at overwhelming events)