Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines here)!
I took this pic at the Walker Art Center’s Outdoor Sculpture Garden on my birthday. It’s been years since I’ve been there! This image makes me think of:
1) a classic “Once upon a time” story
2) rabbits that do agility courses
3) the way whiskers help animals judge distances
And here’s my?first draft. I had in mind a hare in a formal English garden that’s getting chased off by something… The gardener? A predator?
Escape
brush of yew hedge
under my belly
then?
just the scent of
roses downwind
–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved
Now it’s your turn! Have fun and stick to 15 WORDS OR LESS!??(Title doesn’t count toward word count:>)?
168 Responses
I leap
Long legs go far
Speeding over hills
To get to where you are
Cute little rabbit! Can’t believe it’s already November? brrr!
love the last 3 lines
I love the building line length and sense of urgency–like the rabbit is leaping farther and farther with every bound.
I see you also noticed those long legs and how they can leap.
I like that you hinted at his destination.
It’s a love poem! Wonderful!
Leaping rabbits always seem to have a destination. Great image Amelia.
I leap
Long legs go far
Speeding over hills
To get to where you are
Cute little rabbit! Can’t believe it’s already November? brrr!
love the last 3 lines
I love the building line length and sense of urgency–like the rabbit is leaping farther and farther with every bound.
I see you also noticed those long legs and how they can leap.
I like that you hinted at his destination.
It’s a love poem! Wonderful!
Leaping rabbits always seem to have a destination. Great image Amelia.
Jackrabbit be nimble,
Jackrabbit be quick,
jackrabbit jump over
that brown stuff ‑ew, ick!
this is so cleaver and funny
Love the unexpected ending!
Cindy, I love your take on the nursery rhyme. Creative ending.
Ha! You made it funny. I like that.
Very fun to take the old rhyme & play.
Made me laugh out loud. Very clever.
Jackrabbit be nimble,
Jackrabbit be quick,
jackrabbit jump over
that brown stuff ‑ew, ick!
this is so cleaver and funny
Love the unexpected ending!
Cindy, I love your take on the nursery rhyme. Creative ending.
Ha! You made it funny. I like that.
Very fun to take the old rhyme & play.
Made me laugh out loud. Very clever.
Wonderland
seesaw teeters earth
brass rabbit
jumping over moon
merry-go-round
circus tricks
brass man swimming
under sun
Poem By Jessica
sorry I’m 2 words over
the pic is very interesting today Laura I like you first 2 lines
I wasn’t shore what to write today
I love the image of the brass rabbit jumping over the moon. Those first three lines feel complete to me (except if that were the case, “jumps” would work better than “jumping,” I think). I didn’t quite get the connection of the other things, though, together, they do build a surreal mood, and maybe that was really what you were going for! (PS — About half the time I look at my pic and have no idea what to write!)
I was short of going for images but I like your thought So I rewrote just that part
Brass rabbit
Jumps over moon
Poem by Jessica
That phrase is quite poetic, Jessica.
I like that brass rabbit jumping over the moon.
Your imagination makes such a picture in my mind, a swirl of images around that statue!
Jessica, I like the image of the hare as a see-saw.
Wonderland
seesaw teeters earth
brass rabbit
jumping over moon
merry-go-round
circus tricks
brass man swimming
under sun
Poem By Jessica
sorry I’m 2 words over
the pic is very interesting today Laura I like you first 2 lines
I wasn’t shore what to write today
I love the image of the brass rabbit jumping over the moon. Those first three lines feel complete to me (except if that were the case, “jumps” would work better than “jumping,” I think). I didn’t quite get the connection of the other things, though, together, they do build a surreal mood, and maybe that was really what you were going for! (PS — About half the time I look at my pic and have no idea what to write!)
I was short of going for images but I like your thought So I rewrote just that part
Brass rabbit
Jumps over moon
Poem by Jessica
That phrase is quite poetic, Jessica.
I like that brass rabbit jumping over the moon.
Your imagination makes such a picture in my mind, a swirl of images around that statue!
Jessica, I like the image of the hare as a see-saw.
Boundless
I touch the sky,
The heavens nigh!
Yet always must I
Fall
I love “the scent of roses downwind,” great poem!
Yep. What goes up, must come down.
This is so true
Gravity hurts! I like the ending, unexpected!
It’s nice to have brief respites of highs to help endure the natural lows.
Boundless
I touch the sky,
The heavens nigh!
Yet always must I
Fall
I love “the scent of roses downwind,” great poem!
Yep. What goes up, must come down.
This is so true
Gravity hurts! I like the ending, unexpected!
It’s nice to have brief respites of highs to help endure the natural lows.
I was struck by how skinny that hare looks and what long legs he has.
You sure have a knack for finding the unusual, Laura. (and good photography, too.)
That rabbit
has a habit
of leaping here,
leaping there.
His long legs
leap everywhere.
Love your rhymes!
Thanks, Cindy.
I like all the leaping
Love the rhymes, can imagine this with the traits of other animals, too!
I am trying to remember the nursery rhyme that had this rhythm.
–here, –there, —-everywhere. But it escapes me.
Cute Pat. You can almost hear the rhythm of Old MacDonald’s Farm.
That’s it!! Thanks, Martha. I could hear that in my head but could not remember which, rhyme, story, song I originally heard it in.
Heehee. I like this, Pat! Love the rabbit/habit. And thanks–wish my phone could take better pics inside. I love nature and outdoor pics, but I’d like to mix it up more, too…
I was struck by how skinny that hare looks and what long legs he has.
You sure have a knack for finding the unusual, Laura. (and good photography, too.)
That rabbit
has a habit
of leaping here,
leaping there.
His long legs
leap everywhere.
Love your rhymes!
Thanks, Cindy.
I like all the leaping
Love the rhymes, can imagine this with the traits of other animals, too!
I am trying to remember the nursery rhyme that had this rhythm.
–here, –there, —-everywhere. But it escapes me.
Cute Pat. You can almost hear the rhythm of Old MacDonald’s Farm.
That’s it!! Thanks, Martha. I could hear that in my head but could not remember which, rhyme, story, song I originally heard it in.
Heehee. I like this, Pat! Love the rabbit/habit. And thanks–wish my phone could take better pics inside. I love nature and outdoor pics, but I’d like to mix it up more, too…
It’s Never Enough
I’m lithe
and lofty
elegant
and tall.
why the humiliation
of a stability ball?
Laura, the picture is quite charming; makes me think ballet. If you look at the back feet long enough you can see toe shoes.
HA! I love your use of elegant.
Stability ball! Ha! I love it! Now I know what that brown thing is.
Great imagination, Martha.
I love the first 4 lines
Great voice of complaint, Martha. And I like “lithe and lofty”. We have rabbits everywhere, & they are!
True! I was struck by how human the legs looked, especially in person. Love this funny take! We DO put ourselves through a lot, don’t we? (I personally hate bosu thingies. My balance stinks.)
It’s Never Enough
I’m lithe
and lofty
elegant
and tall.
why the humiliation
of a stability ball?
Laura, the picture is quite charming; makes me think ballet. If you look at the back feet long enough you can see toe shoes.
HA! I love your use of elegant.
Stability ball! Ha! I love it! Now I know what that brown thing is.
Great imagination, Martha.
I love the first 4 lines
Great voice of complaint, Martha. And I like “lithe and lofty”. We have rabbits everywhere, & they are!
True! I was struck by how human the legs looked, especially in person. Love this funny take! We DO put ourselves through a lot, don’t we? (I personally hate bosu thingies. My balance stinks.)
Laura, I love that you put the garden in with that line “scent of roses”. You packed so much into your brief words.
Memories
Old now,
slow now,
but once,
I leaped
with my brothers
in grassy fields.
Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved
Oh, I like your take on the picture. That’s why the hare is so thin.
He’s old and frail and slowing down.
Nice Linda, hopefully we can all thrive beautifully on memories of younger years.
I love this
Aw, I love this melancholy tone, Linda. And it makes me think of the song “Ride ’em, Cowboy,” by Juice Newton, about an old rodeo pro who now “only rides wild horses in his dreams.” It’s lovely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9x6xOfky70
Thanks, Laura, & everyone. I’ll look this up later, Laura. Off to work now. Will check back for everyone else’s later!
Oh the memories of our leaping days–I can relate! Lovely poem, Linda.
Laura, I love that you put the garden in with that line “scent of roses”. You packed so much into your brief words.
Memories
Old now,
slow now,
but once,
I leaped
with my brothers
in grassy fields.
Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved
Oh, I like your take on the picture. That’s why the hare is so thin.
He’s old and frail and slowing down.
Nice Linda, hopefully we can all thrive beautifully on memories of younger years.
I love this
Aw, I love this melancholy tone, Linda. And it makes me think of the song “Ride ’em, Cowboy,” by Juice Newton, about an old rodeo pro who now “only rides wild horses in his dreams.” It’s lovely: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9x6xOfky70
Thanks, Laura, & everyone. I’ll look this up later, Laura. Off to work now. Will check back for everyone else’s later!
Oh the memories of our leaping days–I can relate! Lovely poem, Linda.
2014
They may be sleek
and nimble, but
old Mr. McGregor,
still holds the rake.
Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
And he chases them out of his garden. I remember that story well.
Good connection.
So foreboding! Poor Peter and friends…
How wonderful that Beatrix Potter gave us this story, & here you are, still writing about Mr. McGregor! Lovely!
Poor rabbits! Great image , Diane.
Ahhhh! Beatrix. What would we do without her? I’m glad you thought of that aspect.
2014
They may be sleek
and nimble, but
old Mr. McGregor,
still holds the rake.
Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
And he chases them out of his garden. I remember that story well.
Good connection.
So foreboding! Poor Peter and friends…
How wonderful that Beatrix Potter gave us this story, & here you are, still writing about Mr. McGregor! Lovely!
Poor rabbits! Great image , Diane.
Ahhhh! Beatrix. What would we do without her? I’m glad you thought of that aspect.
Hare Weather
I leap and leap?
north, west,
south, east.
Turning,
turning,
but always
lost.
?Kate Coombs
I can just see him wondering in endlessly dizzy I love this
Love the title, and the feeling of despair at the close (not that I love despair, but the way you conveyed it.)
Kate, you have just described one of my recurring dreams (nightmares). Poor bunny!
(He’s a weather vane. Maybe I was being too subtle!)
I think it’s fine the way it is. This could definitely be a weather vane. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s the sign of a really good verse when the reader personally identifies with it. The bunny is not lost at all; he knows where he is at all times. 😉
Good point, Martha! I guess I mean lost soul because he’s stuck, but there are so many different ways of looking at a poem.
It’s my Hareweather Friend:>) Lovely mask poem, and I like the mournful ending.
Yep, that was the title pun! Thanks, Laura. I guess I got a little sidetracked, perhaps eastward.
Oh, I knew that was what YOU meant–I was just joining in on your joke, that’s all:>) You didn’t get sidetracked at all.
🙂
Just can’t stop, right? Love that you imagined a weather vane.
Hare Weather
I leap and leap?
north, west,
south, east.
Turning,
turning,
but always
lost.
?Kate Coombs
I can just see him wondering in endlessly dizzy I love this
Love the title, and the feeling of despair at the close (not that I love despair, but the way you conveyed it.)
Kate, you have just described one of my recurring dreams (nightmares). Poor bunny!
(He’s a weather vane. Maybe I was being too subtle!)
I think it’s fine the way it is. This could definitely be a weather vane. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s the sign of a really good verse when the reader personally identifies with it. The bunny is not lost at all; he knows where he is at all times. 😉
Good point, Martha! I guess I mean lost soul because he’s stuck, but there are so many different ways of looking at a poem.
It’s my Hareweather Friend:>) Lovely mask poem, and I like the mournful ending.
Yep, that was the title pun! Thanks, Laura. I guess I got a little sidetracked, perhaps eastward.
Oh, I knew that was what YOU meant–I was just joining in on your joke, that’s all:>) You didn’t get sidetracked at all.
🙂
Just can’t stop, right? Love that you imagined a weather vane.
Wonderful photo, Laura! And I love the contrast of the feel of hedges and the scent of roses–which inspired mine:
Indecision
I’m a rabbit frozen
mid-leap–
hurdle to snug
thickets
or plunge headlong
through rolling
meadows?
Nice Buffy. I also saw “frozen” in mid-leap.
I love the words thickets and headlong here. And your line breaks–nice!
Love that you included the hedges. And a question. Good story imagined.
Wonderful photo, Laura! And I love the contrast of the feel of hedges and the scent of roses–which inspired mine:
Indecision
I’m a rabbit frozen
mid-leap–
hurdle to snug
thickets
or plunge headlong
through rolling
meadows?
Nice Buffy. I also saw “frozen” in mid-leap.
I love the words thickets and headlong here. And your line breaks–nice!
Love that you included the hedges. And a question. Good story imagined.
Hiding in shrubbery
Hunter calls to me,
“I’m hunting wabbits!
But I don’t see any!”
Looks like Elmer Fudd hiding in hedges to me!
Ha! This makes me think of how I used to hide in the shrubs by our house and spy on my big sisters:>)
I never thought of Elmer Fudd-so funny!
Hiding in shrubbery
Hunter calls to me,
“I’m hunting wabbits!
But I don’t see any!”
Looks like Elmer Fudd hiding in hedges to me!
Ha! This makes me think of how I used to hide in the shrubs by our house and spy on my big sisters:>)
I never thought of Elmer Fudd-so funny!
LEAP OF FAITH
arc of the dive
long and lithe
over fields of green
graceful, silent, serene.
Ellen Vojnovic
Gorgeous. This poem is like a gentle breath.
I love the sounds in this poem, Ellen!
Great job! I like the arc/dive/swim metaphor!
LEAP OF FAITH
arc of the dive
long and lithe
over fields of green
graceful, silent, serene.
Ellen Vojnovic
Gorgeous. This poem is like a gentle breath.
I love the sounds in this poem, Ellen!
Great job! I like the arc/dive/swim metaphor!
Long maligned,
Now immortalized!
Let McGreggor Stew!
Ahhh…poor McGreggor…foiled again!
Love this and the play on words with ‘stew’.
Heh heh. Love that last line!
Long maligned,
Now immortalized!
Let McGreggor Stew!
Ahhh…poor McGreggor…foiled again!
Love this and the play on words with ‘stew’.
Heh heh. Love that last line!
Run!
Run rabbit, run.
It’s dinner time
and fox wants you
for his.
(Sally Murphy, 2014)
Aw, this makes me so worried for the rabbit!
Run!
Run rabbit, run.
It’s dinner time
and fox wants you
for his.
(Sally Murphy, 2014)
Aw, this makes me so worried for the rabbit!
THE VEGETABLE THIEF
Jack Rabbit surges
Over logged barrier ?
Vegetable supper.
© Charles Waters 2014 all rights reserved.
Love the use of surges here, Charles. That rabbit looks so fluid, so the verb feels perfect!
THE VEGETABLE THIEF
Jack Rabbit surges
Over logged barrier ?
Vegetable supper.
© Charles Waters 2014 all rights reserved.
Love the use of surges here, Charles. That rabbit looks so fluid, so the verb feels perfect!