Metal Woman [15 words or less]

Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines here)!

15WOLs

Here’s a forgotten photo I found on my phone . This is a sculpture in an art gallery in one of the skyways in downtown Minneapolis.?This image makes me think of:

1)?the Jetsons
2)?how would you shower if you were made of metal?
3) who would push an empty stroller?

And here’s my?first draft:

Oil Rain

Amber oil splashes
from translucent gold sky?

Steel farmers unfold,
creaking,
from the fields

–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved

Now it’s your turn! Have fun and stick to 15 WORDS OR LESS!??(Title doesn’t count toward word count:>)?

Also, I want to give a shout-out to Lauren McBride, a long-time 15 Words or Less participant who has actually gone on to publish a number of poems that started out as drafts for the 15WOL weekly challenge. Lauren specializes in speculative poetry, and you can see her latest publication, a gorgeous poem called “Mournful,”?here–and she even mentions 15 Words or Less! Thanks, Lauren, and congratulations!

212 Responses

    1. Ooh, a little biting poem today, Cindyb:>) I know lots of people like this…and I’m sure I’m one of them, sometimes:>)

    1. Ooh, a little biting poem today, Cindyb:>) I know lots of people like this…and I’m sure I’m one of them, sometimes:>)

    1. “Found his heart in Oz”…and it looks like she lost her heart. “An ex with an axe” — doesn’t get any better than that. Someone should write a murder mystery with that title. Of course, you’ve given away the killer then…nevermind.

    1. “Found his heart in Oz”…and it looks like she lost her heart. “An ex with an axe” — doesn’t get any better than that. Someone should write a murder mystery with that title. Of course, you’ve given away the killer then…nevermind.

  1. Thank you so much for the shout-out Laura. What an incredible surprise this morning!

    I was delighted to mention 15wol with “Mournful” as a way of thanking you for all you’ve done for me! As you know, I find your blog inspirational because people aren’t afraid to try invented words or unusual shapes. They are not thinking of how to please an editor — they are just “playing” and I have learned so much from reading the poems and comments over the years! And playing under a pen name where I feel even freer to experiment.

    Love today’s picture and your poem, especially the image of farmers creaking up from their fields.

    Here’s my try:

    PLEASE take a nap, so I can too…

    On leaden legs
    I stroll
    till baby sleeps.
    Instead,
    he giggles.
    Then -
    so do I.

    1. Thanks, Lauren–I agree that playing with words and poems on a regular basis teaches me so much! Love those leaden legs and the image of a weary mom still cheered by her baby’s giggle:>)

    2. I guess we’ve all been there, strolling a long while, & hoping. I love your sweet ending, although not what she wished for.

  2. Thank you so much for the shout-out Laura. What an incredible surprise this morning!

    I was delighted to mention 15wol with “Mournful” as a way of thanking you for all you’ve done for me! As you know, I find your blog inspirational because people aren’t afraid to try invented words or unusual shapes. They are not thinking of how to please an editor — they are just “playing” and I have learned so much from reading the poems and comments over the years! And playing under a pen name where I feel even freer to experiment.

    Love today’s picture and your poem, especially the image of farmers creaking up from their fields.

    Here’s my try:

    PLEASE take a nap, so I can too…

    On leaden legs
    I stroll
    till baby sleeps.
    Instead,
    he giggles.
    Then -
    so do I.

    1. Thanks, Lauren–I agree that playing with words and poems on a regular basis teaches me so much! Love those leaden legs and the image of a weary mom still cheered by her baby’s giggle:>)

    2. I guess we’ve all been there, strolling a long while, & hoping. I love your sweet ending, although not what she wished for.

    1. This reminds me of back-to-school shopping with the never-ending list.

    2. Hmm. I’ve dropped little things through the holes in my cart before. So irritating to find that I don’t have that small item and that it is somewhere in the store on the floor instead of in my cart! This poor woman is doing worse than I though!

    1. This reminds me of back-to-school shopping with the never-ending list.

    2. Hmm. I’ve dropped little things through the holes in my cart before. So irritating to find that I don’t have that small item and that it is somewhere in the store on the floor instead of in my cart! This poor woman is doing worse than I though!

  3. Mom’s Night Out

    Dad will sit
    so Mom won’t wilt;
    costume party’s perfect
    for hiding lack of guilt.

    Wow! What an image. Based on some of the current TV programs, there is definitely room for doom and gloom, but so far everyone is in a good mood. Love all comments.

    1. I love that second line, Martha. And the concept of hiding how much we enjoy our nights out–I can relate to that:>)

  4. Mom’s Night Out

    Dad will sit
    so Mom won’t wilt;
    costume party’s perfect
    for hiding lack of guilt.

    Wow! What an image. Based on some of the current TV programs, there is definitely room for doom and gloom, but so far everyone is in a good mood. Love all comments.

    1. I love that second line, Martha. And the concept of hiding how much we enjoy our nights out–I can relate to that:>)

  5. The God of Scrap Metal

    Breathes life with
    oxy-acetylene torch.
    Finishes with the
    subtlety of hammer,
    file & grinding wheel.

    Diane Mayr

      1. Oops! I’m so sorry. I thought I was posting on Martha’s efforts.

    1. Great title. I can see the sculptor at work in your words. And yet I envision robots.

  6. The God of Scrap Metal

    Breathes life with
    oxy-acetylene torch.
    Finishes with the
    subtlety of hammer,
    file & grinding wheel.

    Diane Mayr

      1. Oops! I’m so sorry. I thought I was posting on Martha’s efforts.

    1. Great title. I can see the sculptor at work in your words. And yet I envision robots.

    1. Hehehe–a great lesson in how important the correct spelling is! You got a lot in to 14 words!

    2. your sense of humor… the homophone is awesome — great twist Cyn!

    1. Hehehe–a great lesson in how important the correct spelling is! You got a lot in to 14 words!

    2. your sense of humor… the homophone is awesome — great twist Cyn!

  7. Oh, what a funny piece of art. Lots of ideas it could inspire. I like your “oil rain” idea.
    I thought of a walker, instead of a stroller. Must be my age 🙂

    Using My Walker

    Wheels squeak.
    Bones crack.
    Knees creak.
    Aching back.
    Think I need
    an oily snack.

    1. I hear you, Pat! My knees and hips make inhuman noises all the time. Love all those /k/ sounds. Very sharp and almost painful sounding.

    2. A fun rhyme. For me the fix would be chocolate, but the aches are the same.

    3. Pat, I’m with you. I saw a walker too. Maybedaily visiting my 93 year old father-in-law who uses a walker has something to do with it.

    4. Fascinating take on the sculpture — made me chuckle — nice job

    5. Thanks for the comments, Laura, Geri, Lauren and Linda.
      I do have fun writing these 15wol short little poems.
      Like Geri and Martha said, this is a great site and fun to participate.

  8. Oh, what a funny piece of art. Lots of ideas it could inspire. I like your “oil rain” idea.
    I thought of a walker, instead of a stroller. Must be my age 🙂

    Using My Walker

    Wheels squeak.
    Bones crack.
    Knees creak.
    Aching back.
    Think I need
    an oily snack.

    1. I hear you, Pat! My knees and hips make inhuman noises all the time. Love all those /k/ sounds. Very sharp and almost painful sounding.

    2. A fun rhyme. For me the fix would be chocolate, but the aches are the same.

    3. Pat, I’m with you. I saw a walker too. Maybedaily visiting my 93 year old father-in-law who uses a walker has something to do with it.

    4. Fascinating take on the sculpture — made me chuckle — nice job

    5. Thanks for the comments, Laura, Geri, Lauren and Linda.
      I do have fun writing these 15wol short little poems.
      Like Geri and Martha said, this is a great site and fun to participate.

  9. Homeless

    walking in a vicious circle?
    pushing the past aside?
    on an endless journey to nowhere?

      1. That sculpture spoke to me Laura — the disheveled woman and with an empty cart — hardened by reality (the metal) in a cold world. Reminded me of the homeless I would see in NYC in the early morning back in the 70s and 80s when I worked there… or a battered woman who lost her baby and her way and is stuck in the cycle of abuse. Powerful stuff — and a bit serious for the overall tone of this posting — lol but hey I looked at it for a minute and the words spilled onto the page 🙂

        Really enjoy this blog BTW Awesome creative exercise!

        1. Ditto Geri. I had to fight the urge to not address so many doom and gloom possibilities. I’ve said this to a number of folks already, but I really love Thursday mornings, specifically for 15WOL.

        2. I love how different forms of art reach right into our chests and grip us. And, just so you know, while I try to keep blatant sex and gore off the blog, serious and/or dark poems are more than welcome. So glad you’re part of our community!

    1. Ooh, I love the way you expressed this.

      What a variety of ideas people are having today.
      Love reading all of them.

      1. Thanks Cyn and thank you to all who commented here and who came up with some very creative things 🙂 Wish I had time to comment more but work calls :-

    2. Love the contrast between the effort in line two and the hopelessness in line three.

  10. Homeless

    walking in a vicious circle?
    pushing the past aside?
    on an endless journey to nowhere?

      1. That sculpture spoke to me Laura — the disheveled woman and with an empty cart — hardened by reality (the metal) in a cold world. Reminded me of the homeless I would see in NYC in the early morning back in the 70s and 80s when I worked there… or a battered woman who lost her baby and her way and is stuck in the cycle of abuse. Powerful stuff — and a bit serious for the overall tone of this posting — lol but hey I looked at it for a minute and the words spilled onto the page 🙂

        Really enjoy this blog BTW Awesome creative exercise!

        1. Ditto Geri. I had to fight the urge to not address so many doom and gloom possibilities. I’ve said this to a number of folks already, but I really love Thursday mornings, specifically for 15WOL.

        2. I love how different forms of art reach right into our chests and grip us. And, just so you know, while I try to keep blatant sex and gore off the blog, serious and/or dark poems are more than welcome. So glad you’re part of our community!

    1. Ooh, I love the way you expressed this.

      What a variety of ideas people are having today.
      Love reading all of them.

      1. Thanks Cyn and thank you to all who commented here and who came up with some very creative things 🙂 Wish I had time to comment more but work calls :-

    2. Love the contrast between the effort in line two and the hopelessness in line three.

  11. Don’t We Shine

    look closely
    I cast reflections
    of the woman
    how have molded
    you into the
    person you
    are today

    poem by Jessica Bigi

    sorry it is a few words over I love ever ones poems today

  12. Don’t We Shine

    look closely
    I cast reflections
    of the woman
    how have molded
    you into the
    person you
    are today

    poem by Jessica Bigi

    sorry it is a few words over I love ever ones poems today

  13. Don?t We Shine

    look closely
    I cast reflections
    of the woman
    how have molded
    us into the
    persons we
    are today

    poem by Jessica Bigi

    sorry it is a few words over I love ever ones poems today

    Reply

    1. I love this metaphor, Jessica, of how we reflect our mothers or others who have shaped us. This is poignant and lovely.

  14. Don?t We Shine

    look closely
    I cast reflections
    of the woman
    how have molded
    us into the
    persons we
    are today

    poem by Jessica Bigi

    sorry it is a few words over I love ever ones poems today

    Reply

    1. I love this metaphor, Jessica, of how we reflect our mothers or others who have shaped us. This is poignant and lovely.

  15. I like that idea of the steel farmers unfolding, then creaking, Laura. A ‘new’ machine age? My thoughts are dark today because of a colleague’s recent loss.

    Missing

    Stroller empty,
    faithful mother travels
    up and down
    grocery aisles.
    Up, down,
    up and down…
    Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved

    1. So lost without her child — repetition really adds to the sorrow captured in your poem.

    2. Linda — good art evokes emotion. This sculpture has an air of despair and wandering aimlessly about it to me too — I mean look at her boots! Sorry about your colleague’s loss, but really nice solution!

    3. This is heart-breaking, Linda. That word “faithful” is like being stabbed. Really powerful poem…

  16. I like that idea of the steel farmers unfolding, then creaking, Laura. A ‘new’ machine age? My thoughts are dark today because of a colleague’s recent loss.

    Missing

    Stroller empty,
    faithful mother travels
    up and down
    grocery aisles.
    Up, down,
    up and down…
    Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved

    1. So lost without her child — repetition really adds to the sorrow captured in your poem.

    2. Linda — good art evokes emotion. This sculpture has an air of despair and wandering aimlessly about it to me too — I mean look at her boots! Sorry about your colleague’s loss, but really nice solution!

    3. This is heart-breaking, Linda. That word “faithful” is like being stabbed. Really powerful poem…

  17. During the Dog Days of Summer…

    MetalMom flexes
    steel muscles,
    ready to conquer
    kid-squabbling tussles,
    dreaming of autumn:
    squeaky school bussles.

    1. Fun rhymes, Buffy. I dreamt of autumn every summer! Well, I still do, even though my kids are out of school!

  18. During the Dog Days of Summer…

    MetalMom flexes
    steel muscles,
    ready to conquer
    kid-squabbling tussles,
    dreaming of autumn:
    squeaky school bussles.

    1. Fun rhymes, Buffy. I dreamt of autumn every summer! Well, I still do, even though my kids are out of school!

    1. Lovely word choices, Donna. I especially love your double-meaning last line!

    1. Lovely word choices, Donna. I especially love your double-meaning last line!

    1. What a great title, Joy. Nobody could read that title and not read the poem.

    2. Yes, we were thinking the same thing.
      I like your take on it — calling it an old robot. Clever.

    1. What a great title, Joy. Nobody could read that title and not read the poem.

    2. Yes, we were thinking the same thing.
      I like your take on it — calling it an old robot. Clever.

  19. Love those last three lines, Laura! There’s a SF story in there somewhere.

    ALONE

    Nameless
    faceless
    she searches
    for an oasis
    in the junkyard
    of her life.

    ~~Barbara J. Turner

    1. Barbara, I’ve been away from my pc for awhile. Just read your poem. Love it. Sometimes I feel like I am the person you describe, spinning my wheels.

      1. Martha, maybe we all feel that way sometimes.
        That’s why it’s a good poem, Barbara. It touches people.

    2. I really like that phrase “the junkyard of my life.”
      And the description “faceless.” Creative work.

  20. Love those last three lines, Laura! There’s a SF story in there somewhere.

    ALONE

    Nameless
    faceless
    she searches
    for an oasis
    in the junkyard
    of her life.

    ~~Barbara J. Turner

    1. Barbara, I’ve been away from my pc for awhile. Just read your poem. Love it. Sometimes I feel like I am the person you describe, spinning my wheels.

      1. Martha, maybe we all feel that way sometimes.
        That’s why it’s a good poem, Barbara. It touches people.

    2. I really like that phrase “the junkyard of my life.”
      And the description “faceless.” Creative work.

  21. This just popped into my head:

    I’m strong and shiny,
    slightly naughty;
    Tin Man thinks
    I’m a total hottie!

    Great pic — and I love some of these comments!

  22. This just popped into my head:

    I’m strong and shiny,
    slightly naughty;
    Tin Man thinks
    I’m a total hottie!

    Great pic — and I love some of these comments!

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