I had tried to think of some way to improve this, but I couldn’t. So, I stepped up to the microphone (the best part of this MC job) and said:
You’ve seen the good. You’ve seen the best.
Now listen and let your eyelids rest.
OK, not my best introduction. Mr. Jones didn’t think so, either. He frowned his eyebrows at me. Then he changed his face to normal and put a smile on it. He walked toward the microphone.
He stepped right on a huge wad of chewed bubble gum.
I have no idea how it got there.
He picked up his foot. Well, he tried to. Long strings of gum stretched like intestines between his shoe and the floor. He tried not to put his foot back down and started hopping around on his clean shoe. But then he landed in the gum with that one, too. And then he tried not having any shoes on the ground and down he went.
Mr. Jones sat on the stage floor, like a fly caught in a bubblegum spider’s web. The gum was so sticky it was almost like somebody had mixed it with other stuff to make it stickier, like glue or something. Who knows?
The whole audience was staring at Mr. Jones, and it looked like a few people were wondering if they should come help him. I had to act fast.
Don’t worry, people. It’s part of the act.
He escapes like Houdini. And that’s a fact!
“While Mr. Jones escapes from the attacking bubble gum–and it’s easier for him to concentrate if you don’t watch him–we’ll move on to our next act, Goldie Granmoti.”