Tip #7: Walk and Stop
Walk around the room as you read, and then STOP moving at the most important, powerful part of the poem. Kids will naturally be following your progress, and when you suddenly stop, they will pay attention to what’s happening.
When reading the poem draft below that is today’s 15 Words or Less poem, for example, I would probably stop moving just before “forever?” There’s no one right word to choose, though. Just quickly read through your poem and think, which word do I want to make sure kids notice? That’s the one you stop moving for.
Now, for my 15 Words or Less writers–and anybody else who would like to join in–it’s another 15 Words or Less flashback to 2007!
Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines here)!
Here’s a picture I took in Chicago’s Field Museum (I love that place) and my poem draft, circa 2007!? This image makes me think of:
1) the gritty texture of stone
2) how I would tell my day in hieroglyphics
3)? living statues that you see in areas of street performers, stuck there for what seems like forever!
And here’s my?first draft.
Now it’s your turn! Have fun and stick to 15 WORDS OR LESS!??(Title doesn’t count toward word count:>)?
80 Responses
Laura,
I doubt the artists ever imagined their work would be valued by all the world and forever. Awesome, isn’t it?
Makes me wonder what project I’ve been part of that could live into the future like that…
Laura,
I doubt the artists ever imagined their work would be valued by all the world and forever. Awesome, isn’t it?
Makes me wonder what project I’ve been part of that could live into the future like that…
Waking, walking
Wearing, working
Washing, writing
Winking, whispering
Wishing.
Dreaming.
Waking, walking.
I liked the idea of how we would tell our days in hieroglyphs. Kind of a tongue twister 🙂
I love this and how you started and ended the same
Love this–it makes me wonder what the hieroglyph would be for wishing…
Mabe wings
Or one hand opend and the other closed
Waking, walking
Wearing, working
Washing, writing
Winking, whispering
Wishing.
Dreaming.
Waking, walking.
I liked the idea of how we would tell our days in hieroglyphs. Kind of a tongue twister 🙂
I love this and how you started and ended the same
Love this–it makes me wonder what the hieroglyph would be for wishing…
Mabe wings
Or one hand opend and the other closed
Hey!
Graffiti artist
you?re taking too long
to carve hieroglyphics,
Pharaoh?s cops
will stop you!
?Kate Coombs
love the begging of your poem
Yes, that would have been a tough way to deface public property!
Those rebel hieroglyphicists(?) ! I bet they have a *record.* Hehe.
I’m happy that there were no ‘graffiti’ cops, but fun to imagine.
Hey!
Graffiti artist
you?re taking too long
to carve hieroglyphics,
Pharaoh?s cops
will stop you!
?Kate Coombs
love the begging of your poem
Yes, that would have been a tough way to deface public property!
Those rebel hieroglyphicists(?) ! I bet they have a *record.* Hehe.
I’m happy that there were no ‘graffiti’ cops, but fun to imagine.
I too tried to capture the thought of “men dancing across centuries”, Laura. It’s always a special moment to consider those who created these stories so long, long ago.
Remember Me
My story of
fraternity,
stone etched
for all
eternity.
Linda Baie ?All Rights Reserved
I love this (etched
for all
eternity.)
Nice poem, Linda.
Nice with fraternity and eternity!
That rhyme works SO well here, Linda. It’s magical!
I too tried to capture the thought of “men dancing across centuries”, Laura. It’s always a special moment to consider those who created these stories so long, long ago.
Remember Me
My story of
fraternity,
stone etched
for all
eternity.
Linda Baie ?All Rights Reserved
I love this (etched
for all
eternity.)
Nice poem, Linda.
Nice with fraternity and eternity!
That rhyme works SO well here, Linda. It’s magical!
Obituary
Her world grows smaller
her lifeline shrinks
her work
etched
in
stone.
FOREVER!
Good morning Laura. I was blown away by your photo for today. I have just learned that a dear friend/author passed away at age 59. Her health decline began circa 2007. Her books live on. You can’t make up coincidences like this. I envision that her world seemed as small to her as the picture conveys. Thank you.
sorry to hear about your friend 🙁
I love your poem
Thank you Jessica.
Sorry for your loss, Martha. Your poem is a lovely remembrance.
Thank you Linda. My 20/20 hindsight tells me the title should have been Memorial instead of Obituary. My late friend would have told me to “own it and get on with it.”
I wonder what will actually be left for archeologists to uncover of today’s world, or are we finding ways of keeping it for posterity now?
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I’m glad she was a writer, so her words will remain.
I’m sorry to hear this, Martha. But this is such a heartfelt tribute to her. And I love the victory shout at the end. We write and create to defy death, right?
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.
Obituary
Her world grows smaller
her lifeline shrinks
her work
etched
in
stone.
FOREVER!
Good morning Laura. I was blown away by your photo for today. I have just learned that a dear friend/author passed away at age 59. Her health decline began circa 2007. Her books live on. You can’t make up coincidences like this. I envision that her world seemed as small to her as the picture conveys. Thank you.
sorry to hear about your friend 🙁
I love your poem
Thank you Jessica.
Sorry for your loss, Martha. Your poem is a lovely remembrance.
Thank you Linda. My 20/20 hindsight tells me the title should have been Memorial instead of Obituary. My late friend would have told me to “own it and get on with it.”
I wonder what will actually be left for archeologists to uncover of today’s world, or are we finding ways of keeping it for posterity now?
Sorry for the loss of your friend. I’m glad she was a writer, so her words will remain.
I’m sorry to hear this, Martha. But this is such a heartfelt tribute to her. And I love the victory shout at the end. We write and create to defy death, right?
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful person.
Aren’t blank walls for crayon squiggles?
But Mom’s not joining in my giggles.
wonderful true and funny I can just pitcher this
Imagine that! Empty walls are not empty for long…
Aren’t blank walls for crayon squiggles?
But Mom’s not joining in my giggles.
wonderful true and funny I can just pitcher this
Imagine that! Empty walls are not empty for long…
You idea taken from the picture is so imaginative, Jessica!
You idea taken from the picture is so imaginative, Jessica!
Droplets pattern the sidewalk–
each records a story
that is vanquished
by the downpour.
I’ve been fascinated lately by the stories of rocks, but I love the idea of each drop of water being a story, too. The world, at least a bigger part than we give credit for, is inside each small part. Lovely…
Love this idea, Buffy, reminds me of the pictures we imagine of inkblots, ‘raindrop splashes?’.
Droplets pattern the sidewalk–
each records a story
that is vanquished
by the downpour.
I’ve been fascinated lately by the stories of rocks, but I love the idea of each drop of water being a story, too. The world, at least a bigger part than we give credit for, is inside each small part. Lovely…
Love this idea, Buffy, reminds me of the pictures we imagine of inkblots, ‘raindrop splashes?’.
Rime puzzling Question
Rapunzel’s only hope
A map she drew
on castle walls
prince how
did you get
in Egypt?
I love the first line of your poem and the pic reminds me of one of mine that I just took when I went to my museum a few weeks ago
Reply
Ha! Love that it’s a map!
Oooh, I love the way you went into the fairytale space here, Jessica!
Rime puzzling Question
Rapunzel’s only hope
A map she drew
on castle walls
prince how
did you get
in Egypt?
I love the first line of your poem and the pic reminds me of one of mine that I just took when I went to my museum a few weeks ago
Reply
Ha! Love that it’s a map!
Oooh, I love the way you went into the fairytale space here, Jessica!
Love that sunlight in…
Shattered sunbeams
fall,
People squint at
wall,
Stone-carved ghosts
enthrall,
Rebus runes tell
all.
?Donna JT Smith, all rights reserved
love stone carved ghost
love stone carved ghost
Rebus runes–love that connection between modern and ancient!
Love that you noticed the sun, Donna-beautiful all put together!
Love that sunlight in…
Shattered sunbeams
fall,
People squint at
wall,
Stone-carved ghosts
enthrall,
Rebus runes tell
all.
?Donna JT Smith, all rights reserved
love stone carved ghost
love stone carved ghost
Rebus runes–love that connection between modern and ancient!
Love that you noticed the sun, Donna-beautiful all put together!