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Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #17: Concrete Poem    Bloody Memory       After             math a velvet valentine    as red as the blood from the famous 2nd-grade pencil sharpener accident waits on my desk like a bomb. My name is written on the front in flowery letters. There is lace all around the

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #16: Quatrains Cafeteria Duo Trio 1.    Eddie’s Trick See cool Eddie? He’s my hero He’s the only kid who knows How to make the cherry Kool-Aid Flow like rivers from his nose 2.    So-Called Stew   The menu says stew but that doesn’t fool me They’ve figured out

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #14: The Cinquain Grandma’s Snakes Old legs. Grandma’s dry skin has shiny blue veins that slither wriggle pulse bulge: Grandma’s pet snakes. I never knew my family was so disgusting until I started writing poetry. Cool! That IS what I adore about poetry, Louis. It can open

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #13: The Diamante Lemons Coming Out of My Pores lemonade tangy, yellow clinking, drinking, chilling, summer, liquid, noon, basketball slipping, dripping, shaking clear, salty sweat You said 2 opposite or related things work. Lemonade turns into sweat! It turns into something else, too, but you don’t want

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #12: The Haiku Don’t Look at Uncle Gary! He wears a Speedo Like a plump water balloon Wears a rubber band Nothing shocks you? I’ll find something…I know haiku has to be about nature, but we were at the lake. Does that count? I must confess this

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #11: The Acrostic My Mom Doesn’t Always Embarrass Me Mom, I would be an Orphan without you!  [So don’t take a job in some other country] Thank you for not Hugging me in public. Or private. Even when you’re Right about something, you never rub it in.

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #10: Hyperbole Guaranteed to Make You Puke If you ever need to make yourself sick the night before a test         or a family portrait             or dinner with Grandpa creep downstairs to the kitchen after bedtime Discover your mom and dad k– k–

Dr. Louis Pasternak Skullstench: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #9: The Ballad The Ballad of My Shameful Mother Last Thursday my mom could not come to my game. I felt floods of relief and a trickle of shame. My mom always hollered and screamed at the ref as I dribbled downfield and wished I was deaf.

Dr. Pasternak: Stealth Poet Poetry Assignment #7: Rhyme Head Cheese It wiggles and shimmies and does a slight jig It’s gelatin pickled with pieces of pig There’s a sliver of tongue and a big chunk of heart There’s a huge hunk of dark and mysterious pig part. It’s nasty!  Revolting! Disgusting to see! And I

Louis J. Pasternak Poetry Assignment #6: The List Poem If You Accidentally Swallow Ocean Water … you also swallow: gloopy whale blubber broken starfish arms penguin poop dead fish sunken ships lobster shells and all the pee of all the kids in the world, even kids in Europe and Australia and Africa and including my

[Note from Laura: Hi, teachers and readers! If Louis were writing a gross poem about me today, it would be about head colds, congestion, crusty stuff, and maybe green stuff, too. :>(  Yup, I’ve got a cold. And I’m glad Louis isn’t here to describe it. Thanks for reading!] Louis J. Pasternak Poetry Assignment #5: