?
Photo: Laura Purdie Salas
Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines are here)!
Three things this makes me think of:
1) Sand castles
2) Death mask
3) Optical illusions
And here’s my poem first draft:
Dream MonsterEmpty eyes,
sunken forehead
knock at 2 a.m.,
coffin holding
iron screams –Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved
Your turn!
178 Responses
MUMMY
Sleeping face
set in gold
waiting for someone
to open its hold
Whew! I had a hard time getting here! Must be my brain’s already in the weekend 🙂 Very cool picture!
And I love your poem Ms. Salas- chilling! Especially love lines 2 and 5- great words! Very descriptive!
I really like the image here and the rhyme. I want to know what happens next!
Love this one!
Lovely, Amelia!
Nice one, Amelia. This also instantly reminded me of a mummy!
I like the idea of just ‘sleeping’, then there is hope to awake.
Some days are harder than others! I love those first two lines–something about them really evokes a fairy tale, magical world.
And thanks! The pic is from the FDR memorial in Washington, DC. And thanks for the specific feedback. Always helpful to know which words/lines have impact:>)
MUMMY
Sleeping face
set in gold
waiting for someone
to open its hold
Whew! I had a hard time getting here! Must be my brain’s already in the weekend 🙂 Very cool picture!
And I love your poem Ms. Salas- chilling! Especially love lines 2 and 5- great words! Very descriptive!
I really like the image here and the rhyme. I want to know what happens next!
Love this one!
Lovely, Amelia!
Nice one, Amelia. This also instantly reminded me of a mummy!
I like the idea of just ‘sleeping’, then there is hope to awake.
Some days are harder than others! I love those first two lines–something about them really evokes a fairy tale, magical world.
And thanks! The pic is from the FDR memorial in Washington, DC. And thanks for the specific feedback. Always helpful to know which words/lines have impact:>)
Final Shopping Trip
Your life.
Your choice?
one precious-metal, mortality mask
molded
for eternity.
~Penny Parker Klostermann
I like all the “m” sounds in lines 3 and 4!
Brilliant, Penny! Great alliteration too.
You make me wonder if they made a mask for the person before he died, ready for the tomb, from that ‘choice’ line. Interesting idea!
Oooh–I knew there was a reason I didn’t like shopping! I love line 3 an extra bunch!
Final Shopping Trip
Your life.
Your choice?
one precious-metal, mortality mask
molded
for eternity.
~Penny Parker Klostermann
I like all the “m” sounds in lines 3 and 4!
Brilliant, Penny! Great alliteration too.
You make me wonder if they made a mask for the person before he died, ready for the tomb, from that ‘choice’ line. Interesting idea!
Oooh–I knew there was a reason I didn’t like shopping! I love line 3 an extra bunch!
From Diane Mayr, who was having trouble posting a comment:
Call the National Enquirer!
On the verge
of burnt
the visage
on my toast
grows. Jesus?
Is that you?
–Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
Love this!
Too funny! I love “verge/of burnt” and “visage”.
Wonderful! Full of curiosity and humor.
Wow, a whole different look. I had to go back to re-look at the picture.
Hehehe–ok, I love this. Those faces in toast and potato chips and everything else just crack me up. I especially love all the j sounds and the voice of those last two lines!
From Diane Mayr, who was having trouble posting a comment:
Call the National Enquirer!
On the verge
of burnt
the visage
on my toast
grows. Jesus?
Is that you?
–Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
Love this!
Too funny! I love “verge/of burnt” and “visage”.
Wonderful! Full of curiosity and humor.
Wow, a whole different look. I had to go back to re-look at the picture.
Hehehe–ok, I love this. Those faces in toast and potato chips and everything else just crack me up. I especially love all the j sounds and the voice of those last two lines!
Hi Laura, I love your new website, all those lovely squares waiting to be filled! And like your ‘iron screams’! I haven’t been able to be here lately & miss your challenges! Here’s mine today:
Mind — smooth wall,
even when
I call.
Finally,
pushing through,
beautiful
face of you.
So beautiful.
Great image!
Linda, that is so sweet and imaginative.
Thanks, Linda–it’s great to finally have it be part of my website! I haven’t been here much, either!
I like the sense of isolation in the first half of your poem–and then the breakthrough, literally:>)
Hi Laura, I love your new website, all those lovely squares waiting to be filled! And like your ‘iron screams’! I haven’t been able to be here lately & miss your challenges! Here’s mine today:
Mind — smooth wall,
even when
I call.
Finally,
pushing through,
beautiful
face of you.
So beautiful.
Great image!
Linda, that is so sweet and imaginative.
Thanks, Linda–it’s great to finally have it be part of my website! I haven’t been here much, either!
I like the sense of isolation in the first half of your poem–and then the breakthrough, literally:>)
Wow, iron screams–shivery!
I did two variations again:
Faced
Faced with
a hard world
she pushes
back.
Feels something
crack.
Can?t
Can?t face
the wrong world
so I
keep looking.
Is this
the place?
?Kate Coombs
The determination in your first poem is most appealing to me. I hear the voice of a teenage girl.
Two poems, yay! 🙂 I especially like the first one — it makes me want to hear more of the story.
These go really well together. Great imagery, Kate.
I keep imagining (from your second poem) someone peeking out, then disappearing again. Maybe it’s a person in a new group? You really made me think in both poems!
Thanks, Kate. Oooh, I love that first one. Makes me wonder whether she is cracking, or the world is.
Wow, iron screams–shivery!
I did two variations again:
Faced
Faced with
a hard world
she pushes
back.
Feels something
crack.
Can?t
Can?t face
the wrong world
so I
keep looking.
Is this
the place?
?Kate Coombs
The determination in your first poem is most appealing to me. I hear the voice of a teenage girl.
Two poems, yay! 🙂 I especially like the first one — it makes me want to hear more of the story.
These go really well together. Great imagery, Kate.
I keep imagining (from your second poem) someone peeking out, then disappearing again. Maybe it’s a person in a new group? You really made me think in both poems!
Thanks, Kate. Oooh, I love that first one. Makes me wonder whether she is cracking, or the world is.
This death mask
doesn’t look like me!
I was actually
quite happy.
Loved the chill of yours, Laura.
Finally, the optimist’s point of view!
Funny!
A new perspective.… 🙂
LOL
I like the consternation of this person, surprised at the circumstance. New approach.
Thanks, ellie! Love this–I never think I look like my photos, but how especially frustrating to be dead and look back at your last likeness and not feel it!
This death mask
doesn’t look like me!
I was actually
quite happy.
Loved the chill of yours, Laura.
Finally, the optimist’s point of view!
Funny!
A new perspective.… 🙂
LOL
I like the consternation of this person, surprised at the circumstance. New approach.
Thanks, ellie! Love this–I never think I look like my photos, but how especially frustrating to be dead and look back at your last likeness and not feel it!
I’m looking for Alice,
but, alas!
I can’t get through
the looking-glass.
Ha! So clever!
Love the image and the rhyme.
Another new idea, terrific!
Liar! You always get into a magical place, cindyb!
I’m looking for Alice,
but, alas!
I can’t get through
the looking-glass.
Ha! So clever!
Love the image and the rhyme.
Another new idea, terrific!
Liar! You always get into a magical place, cindyb!
He peeled his face away
and offered it to me.
Did I dare to wear it?
Pretty darn freaky, Liz! It conjures up images from that Jim Carrey movie, The Mask. I assume you saw it? (If not, you should and you’ll see what I mean.)
Eek! Sounds like it could be the start of a great horror story.
Oh this is my favorite. Great imagery Liz.
It does seem a little unusual, but perhaps a love gesture too-the ultimate sacrifice? I like the question as ending, too.
Oh! What start, powerful language!
He peeled his face away
and offered it to me.
Did I dare to wear it?
Pretty darn freaky, Liz! It conjures up images from that Jim Carrey movie, The Mask. I assume you saw it? (If not, you should and you’ll see what I mean.)
Eek! Sounds like it could be the start of a great horror story.
Oh this is my favorite. Great imagery Liz.
It does seem a little unusual, but perhaps a love gesture too-the ultimate sacrifice? I like the question as ending, too.
Oh! What start, powerful language!
I was looking for something lighter, but unfortunately my mind kept coming back to the Holocaust gas chambers. Sigh.
survivor
branded like cattle
faceless
vacant
my spirit is weak
but my soul
cannot be slaughtered.
© Michelle Heidenrich Barnes, all rights reserved
PS– I liked yours a lot too, Laura… and just in time for Friday the 13th!
I’m glad you stopped resisting. It’s a very moving poem, especially faceless, vacant.
I agree with Liz. Overwhelmingly moving.
Very powerful and moving, Michelle.
I have often imagined those who were taken to be with us still, swooping around to remind us to be vigilant. I like this Michelle, the invincible soul.
This is stunning, Michelle. Your line breaks work really well. Sigh, indeed. I watched a Sep. 11 special the other day and can’t get it out of my head now. Those things that haunt us make strong poems, at least. Whether we want them there at the moment or not.
I was looking for something lighter, but unfortunately my mind kept coming back to the Holocaust gas chambers. Sigh.
survivor
branded like cattle
faceless
vacant
my spirit is weak
but my soul
cannot be slaughtered.
© Michelle Heidenrich Barnes, all rights reserved
PS– I liked yours a lot too, Laura… and just in time for Friday the 13th!
I’m glad you stopped resisting. It’s a very moving poem, especially faceless, vacant.
I agree with Liz. Overwhelmingly moving.
Very powerful and moving, Michelle.
I have often imagined those who were taken to be with us still, swooping around to remind us to be vigilant. I like this Michelle, the invincible soul.
This is stunning, Michelle. Your line breaks work really well. Sigh, indeed. I watched a Sep. 11 special the other day and can’t get it out of my head now. Those things that haunt us make strong poems, at least. Whether we want them there at the moment or not.
New Girl
slip in shadows
melt in crowds,
seek a mist at daybreak
a fog that shrouds.
I feel for this girl.
Ooh, I love this, especially lines 1, 2, and 4!
Beautiful!
It is sad, but I’ve known those students who want very much to elude. You showed it very well!
Awww, the poor new girl, trying to fly under the radar. Or…is there something more sinister at work here? The imagery has a mood to it that makes me think there’s a darker reason she doesn’t want to be seen…
New Girl
slip in shadows
melt in crowds,
seek a mist at daybreak
a fog that shrouds.
I feel for this girl.
Ooh, I love this, especially lines 1, 2, and 4!
Beautiful!
It is sad, but I’ve known those students who want very much to elude. You showed it very well!
Awww, the poor new girl, trying to fly under the radar. Or…is there something more sinister at work here? The imagery has a mood to it that makes me think there’s a darker reason she doesn’t want to be seen…
Great poem, Laura, especially those last two haunting lines. Here’s mine:
Inside
looking out?
Or outside
looking in?
Where
does it end?
Where
do I begin?
I love questions in poems, this is great!
Like Catherine, I like those questions too. I also like the way your poem looks.
Thanks, Janelle–it’s always enlightening to hear which words/lines strike people and which ones don’t!
Lovely riddle poem. Works so well for this pic, as I was standing right there taking it and had to keep touching it to see if it was convex or concave–but also just as questions we ask about ourselves!
Great poem, Laura, especially those last two haunting lines. Here’s mine:
Inside
looking out?
Or outside
looking in?
Where
does it end?
Where
do I begin?
I love questions in poems, this is great!
Like Catherine, I like those questions too. I also like the way your poem looks.
Thanks, Janelle–it’s always enlightening to hear which words/lines strike people and which ones don’t!
Lovely riddle poem. Works so well for this pic, as I was standing right there taking it and had to keep touching it to see if it was convex or concave–but also just as questions we ask about ourselves!
Haunted House
Push on this wall.
Watch it open wide.
Then enter for frights
and sights inside.
I like “enter for frights/and sights” — definitely what a haunted house provides.
I don’t know if this is allowed,
but I was in too big of a rush this morning.
I entered my first draft without even thinking about it.
Now I want to do another.
By the way, I love all of the poems on here today.
Such creativity! Great picture, Laura. And I like your first draft a lot.
Haunted House
I pushed the wall.
It opened wide.
Something beckoned,
“Come inside.”
My other comment is for your first one! This is even creepier! Very nice!
I agree — even creepier! 🙂 And I like “beckoned”.
Sure, Patricia–sometimes people post a couple different poems. The more, the merrier!
Love this wall opening up and something beckoning (great verb!).
Could be on the outside of one of those Halloween scary houses. I love the idea of pushing on a wall, would take courage!
Haunted House
Push on this wall.
Watch it open wide.
Then enter for frights
and sights inside.
I like “enter for frights/and sights” — definitely what a haunted house provides.
I don’t know if this is allowed,
but I was in too big of a rush this morning.
I entered my first draft without even thinking about it.
Now I want to do another.
By the way, I love all of the poems on here today.
Such creativity! Great picture, Laura. And I like your first draft a lot.
Haunted House
I pushed the wall.
It opened wide.
Something beckoned,
“Come inside.”
My other comment is for your first one! This is even creepier! Very nice!
I agree — even creepier! 🙂 And I like “beckoned”.
Sure, Patricia–sometimes people post a couple different poems. The more, the merrier!
Love this wall opening up and something beckoning (great verb!).
Could be on the outside of one of those Halloween scary houses. I love the idea of pushing on a wall, would take courage!
The face is small
But the eyes stare through millenium
To reach my soul.
Love your last two lines!
When I see those masks (or mummies), I so often wonder about that person, staring from so long ago. You described it well!
Yes! Love the way you focus in one one small part of it.
The face is small
But the eyes stare through millenium
To reach my soul.
Love your last two lines!
When I see those masks (or mummies), I so often wonder about that person, staring from so long ago. You described it well!
Yes! Love the way you focus in one one small part of it.
Love yours, Laura especially iron screams.
Got too greedy in the goldmine
and tried to eat the profits.
Great dark humor!
😉
Thanks, Catherine. Oooh, this is like the set-up for a horror story! Love all those g sounds.
Love yours, Laura especially iron screams.
Got too greedy in the goldmine
and tried to eat the profits.
Great dark humor!
😉
Thanks, Catherine. Oooh, this is like the set-up for a horror story! Love all those g sounds.
MUM
Royal face
Preserved in gold
Rich remains
But life, long cold.
© Andria W. Rosenbaum
Oooh. I like the double meaning of the word “remains.”
Royal face reminds me of King Tut.
Rich remains, for sure.
Beautifully done, exactly right, I think. Your ending completes it so nicely.
Love the rhymes and the last two lines.
Hahaha–great title! Words in so many ways! Last two lines are especially strong.
MUM
Royal face
Preserved in gold
Rich remains
But life, long cold.
© Andria W. Rosenbaum
Oooh. I like the double meaning of the word “remains.”
Royal face reminds me of King Tut.
Rich remains, for sure.
Beautifully done, exactly right, I think. Your ending completes it so nicely.
Love the rhymes and the last two lines.
Hahaha–great title! Words in so many ways! Last two lines are especially strong.
I resist the urge
to close my eyes
and become
the solid
gold
I am.
This is intriguing–I want to know the whole backstory now! Love “resist” in first line.
I resist the urge
to close my eyes
and become
the solid
gold
I am.
This is intriguing–I want to know the whole backstory now! Love “resist” in first line.
Sounds like something out of Sci-fi. Love the simplicity!
Sounds like something out of Sci-fi. Love the simplicity!
DRIVE-BY SERVICE
Cottontail face plants
Window awaiting drive-by
Delivery.
© Charles Waters 2013 all rights reserved.
Ooh…I love the images here. They’re colliding for me in an interesting way.
DRIVE-BY SERVICE
Cottontail face plants
Window awaiting drive-by
Delivery.
© Charles Waters 2013 all rights reserved.
Ooh…I love the images here. They’re colliding for me in an interesting way.