[15 words or less] Face

?15WOLs

 

Photo: Laura Purdie Salas
Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines are here)!

Three things this makes me think of:

1) Sand castles
2) Death mask
3) Optical illusions

And here’s my poem first draft:

Dream Monster
Empty eyes,
sunken forehead
knock at 2 a.m.,
coffin holding
iron screams
–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved

Your turn!

178 Responses

  1. MUMMY

    Sleeping face
    set in gold
    waiting for someone
    to open its hold

    Whew! I had a hard time getting here! Must be my brain’s already in the weekend 🙂 Very cool picture!

    And I love your poem Ms. Salas- chilling! Especially love lines 2 and 5- great words! Very descriptive!

    1. Some days are harder than others! I love those first two lines–something about them really evokes a fairy tale, magical world.

      And thanks! The pic is from the FDR memorial in Washington, DC. And thanks for the specific feedback. Always helpful to know which words/lines have impact:>)

  2. MUMMY

    Sleeping face
    set in gold
    waiting for someone
    to open its hold

    Whew! I had a hard time getting here! Must be my brain’s already in the weekend 🙂 Very cool picture!

    And I love your poem Ms. Salas- chilling! Especially love lines 2 and 5- great words! Very descriptive!

    1. Some days are harder than others! I love those first two lines–something about them really evokes a fairy tale, magical world.

      And thanks! The pic is from the FDR memorial in Washington, DC. And thanks for the specific feedback. Always helpful to know which words/lines have impact:>)

    1. You make me wonder if they made a mask for the person before he died, ready for the tomb, from that ‘choice’ line. Interesting idea!

    1. You make me wonder if they made a mask for the person before he died, ready for the tomb, from that ‘choice’ line. Interesting idea!

  3. From Diane Mayr, who was having trouble posting a comment:

    Call the National Enquirer!

    On the verge
    of burnt
    the visage
    on my toast
    grows. Jesus?
    Is that you?

    –Diane Mayr, all rights reserved

    1. Hehehe–ok, I love this. Those faces in toast and potato chips and everything else just crack me up. I especially love all the j sounds and the voice of those last two lines!

  4. From Diane Mayr, who was having trouble posting a comment:

    Call the National Enquirer!

    On the verge
    of burnt
    the visage
    on my toast
    grows. Jesus?
    Is that you?

    –Diane Mayr, all rights reserved

    1. Hehehe–ok, I love this. Those faces in toast and potato chips and everything else just crack me up. I especially love all the j sounds and the voice of those last two lines!

  5. Hi Laura, I love your new website, all those lovely squares waiting to be filled! And like your ‘iron screams’! I haven’t been able to be here lately & miss your challenges! Here’s mine today:

    Mind — smooth wall,
    even when
    I call.
    Finally,
    pushing through,
    beautiful
    face of you.

    1. Thanks, Linda–it’s great to finally have it be part of my website! I haven’t been here much, either!

      I like the sense of isolation in the first half of your poem–and then the breakthrough, literally:>)

  6. Hi Laura, I love your new website, all those lovely squares waiting to be filled! And like your ‘iron screams’! I haven’t been able to be here lately & miss your challenges! Here’s mine today:

    Mind — smooth wall,
    even when
    I call.
    Finally,
    pushing through,
    beautiful
    face of you.

    1. Thanks, Linda–it’s great to finally have it be part of my website! I haven’t been here much, either!

      I like the sense of isolation in the first half of your poem–and then the breakthrough, literally:>)

  7. Wow, iron screams–shivery!

    I did two variations again:

    Faced

    Faced with
    a hard world
    she pushes
    back.
    Feels something
    crack.

    Can?t

    Can?t face
    the wrong world
    so I
    keep looking.
    Is this
    the place?

    ?Kate Coombs

    1. I keep imagining (from your second poem) someone peeking out, then disappearing again. Maybe it’s a person in a new group? You really made me think in both poems!

  8. Wow, iron screams–shivery!

    I did two variations again:

    Faced

    Faced with
    a hard world
    she pushes
    back.
    Feels something
    crack.

    Can?t

    Can?t face
    the wrong world
    so I
    keep looking.
    Is this
    the place?

    ?Kate Coombs

    1. I keep imagining (from your second poem) someone peeking out, then disappearing again. Maybe it’s a person in a new group? You really made me think in both poems!

  9. This death mask
    doesn’t look like me!
    I was actually
    quite happy.

    Loved the chill of yours, Laura.

    1. Thanks, ellie! Love this–I never think I look like my photos, but how especially frustrating to be dead and look back at your last likeness and not feel it!

  10. This death mask
    doesn’t look like me!
    I was actually
    quite happy.

    Loved the chill of yours, Laura.

    1. Thanks, ellie! Love this–I never think I look like my photos, but how especially frustrating to be dead and look back at your last likeness and not feel it!

  11. I was looking for something lighter, but unfortunately my mind kept coming back to the Holocaust gas chambers. Sigh.

    survivor

    branded like cattle
    faceless
    vacant
    my spirit is weak
    but my soul
    cannot be slaughtered.

    © Michelle Heidenrich Barnes, all rights reserved

    1. I have often imagined those who were taken to be with us still, swooping around to remind us to be vigilant. I like this Michelle, the invincible soul.

    2. This is stunning, Michelle. Your line breaks work really well. Sigh, indeed. I watched a Sep. 11 special the other day and can’t get it out of my head now. Those things that haunt us make strong poems, at least. Whether we want them there at the moment or not.

  12. I was looking for something lighter, but unfortunately my mind kept coming back to the Holocaust gas chambers. Sigh.

    survivor

    branded like cattle
    faceless
    vacant
    my spirit is weak
    but my soul
    cannot be slaughtered.

    © Michelle Heidenrich Barnes, all rights reserved

    1. I have often imagined those who were taken to be with us still, swooping around to remind us to be vigilant. I like this Michelle, the invincible soul.

    2. This is stunning, Michelle. Your line breaks work really well. Sigh, indeed. I watched a Sep. 11 special the other day and can’t get it out of my head now. Those things that haunt us make strong poems, at least. Whether we want them there at the moment or not.

    1. Awww, the poor new girl, trying to fly under the radar. Or…is there something more sinister at work here? The imagery has a mood to it that makes me think there’s a darker reason she doesn’t want to be seen…

    1. Awww, the poor new girl, trying to fly under the radar. Or…is there something more sinister at work here? The imagery has a mood to it that makes me think there’s a darker reason she doesn’t want to be seen…

  13. Great poem, Laura, especially those last two haunting lines. Here’s mine:

    Inside
    looking out?
    Or outside
    looking in?
    Where
    does it end?
    Where
    do I begin?

    1. Thanks, Janelle–it’s always enlightening to hear which words/lines strike people and which ones don’t!

      Lovely riddle poem. Works so well for this pic, as I was standing right there taking it and had to keep touching it to see if it was convex or concave–but also just as questions we ask about ourselves!

  14. Great poem, Laura, especially those last two haunting lines. Here’s mine:

    Inside
    looking out?
    Or outside
    looking in?
    Where
    does it end?
    Where
    do I begin?

    1. Thanks, Janelle–it’s always enlightening to hear which words/lines strike people and which ones don’t!

      Lovely riddle poem. Works so well for this pic, as I was standing right there taking it and had to keep touching it to see if it was convex or concave–but also just as questions we ask about ourselves!

  15. Haunted House

    Push on this wall.
    Watch it open wide.
    Then enter for frights
    and sights inside.

    1. I don’t know if this is allowed,
      but I was in too big of a rush this morning.
      I entered my first draft without even thinking about it.
      Now I want to do another.

      By the way, I love all of the poems on here today.
      Such creativity! Great picture, Laura. And I like your first draft a lot.

      Haunted House

      I pushed the wall.
      It opened wide.
      Something beckoned,
      “Come inside.”

      1. Sure, Patricia–sometimes people post a couple different poems. The more, the merrier!

        Love this wall opening up and something beckoning (great verb!).

  16. Haunted House

    Push on this wall.
    Watch it open wide.
    Then enter for frights
    and sights inside.

    1. I don’t know if this is allowed,
      but I was in too big of a rush this morning.
      I entered my first draft without even thinking about it.
      Now I want to do another.

      By the way, I love all of the poems on here today.
      Such creativity! Great picture, Laura. And I like your first draft a lot.

      Haunted House

      I pushed the wall.
      It opened wide.
      Something beckoned,
      “Come inside.”

      1. Sure, Patricia–sometimes people post a couple different poems. The more, the merrier!

        Love this wall opening up and something beckoning (great verb!).

  17. Love yours, Laura especially iron screams.

    Got too greedy in the goldmine
    and tried to eat the profits.

  18. Love yours, Laura especially iron screams.

    Got too greedy in the goldmine
    and tried to eat the profits.

    1. Oooh. I like the double meaning of the word “remains.”
      Royal face reminds me of King Tut.
      Rich remains, for sure.

    1. Oooh. I like the double meaning of the word “remains.”
      Royal face reminds me of King Tut.
      Rich remains, for sure.

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