Wake up your poetry brains with 15 Words or Less (guidelines here)!
Here’s a pic from a chandelier in our hotel on our recent drum corps trip to NY. This image makes me think of:
1) Bubbles in the sea
2) a super-fancy necklace (hey, anybody remember the Empress Carlotta (sp?) episode of the Dick Van Dyke show?)
3) fish eggs
And here’s my?first draft:
Mermaid Tears
I miss you so much
My tears rise and grow legs
to pace the empty shore
–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved
Now it’s your turn! Have fun and stick to 15 WORDS OR LESS!??(Title doesn’t count toward word count:>)?
132 Responses
Gates of gold but
light shines through
All that money can’t
keep me from you
I don’t know why but this made me think of a fairytale where a poor guy is in love with a princess? Lovely picture and I LOVE your poem, Ms. Salas, I can practically taste the loneliness!
were you thinking of the one where the hay is spun into gold?
I like your poem
Those first two lines are lovely. I like the determined voice.
I almost connected to your idea, Amelia, but how you created a fairy-tale.
Thanks, Amelia:>) I like that this poem leaves me wanting more. I feel a big story behind it. I’m not sure (until I read your note) whether it’s a love poem or a stalker poem–kind of like the lyrics to The Police’s “Every Breath You Take,” which some people interpret as a love song but when you read the lyrics, it’s clearly a stalker poem. Isn’t it funny what different people bring to their readings of a same poem?
Gates of gold but
light shines through
All that money can’t
keep me from you
I don’t know why but this made me think of a fairytale where a poor guy is in love with a princess? Lovely picture and I LOVE your poem, Ms. Salas, I can practically taste the loneliness!
were you thinking of the one where the hay is spun into gold?
I like your poem
Those first two lines are lovely. I like the determined voice.
I almost connected to your idea, Amelia, but how you created a fairy-tale.
Thanks, Amelia:>) I like that this poem leaves me wanting more. I feel a big story behind it. I’m not sure (until I read your note) whether it’s a love poem or a stalker poem–kind of like the lyrics to The Police’s “Every Breath You Take,” which some people interpret as a love song but when you read the lyrics, it’s clearly a stalker poem. Isn’t it funny what different people bring to their readings of a same poem?
silver raindrops
glowing golden
with sudden sun
“sudden sun” — that is a wonderful phrase. Unexpected and lovely.
This is just gorgeous!
silver raindrops
glowing golden
with sudden sun
“sudden sun” — that is a wonderful phrase. Unexpected and lovely.
This is just gorgeous!
1
if I tossed
a golden Penny
into a frozen pound
would it turn into
silver dimes
2
how many
eyes hive I ?
asked a cat
as he looked
into the fun house
mirror
mellow-nouns
Poems by Jessica Bigi
Laura I love the pic and your poem
These are both fabulous. I especially love the first one, assuming pound was supposed to be pond.
I am sorry, but I am unsure what “mellow-nouns” means. Wonderful image of the reflected cat eyes.
Sound of a cat and million toogather but I could that last line off
I love that first one too, wonderful idea of the golden penny transforming.
Jessica, I like the idea that something gold might turn cold, shiny, silver in a frozen pond? And it made me think of fall leaves encased in ice, too. I wasn’t sure what that last line in poem 2 was supposed to be…
1
if I tossed
a golden Penny
into a frozen pound
would it turn into
silver dimes
2
how many
eyes hive I ?
asked a cat
as he looked
into the fun house
mirror
mellow-nouns
Poems by Jessica Bigi
Laura I love the pic and your poem
These are both fabulous. I especially love the first one, assuming pound was supposed to be pond.
I am sorry, but I am unsure what “mellow-nouns” means. Wonderful image of the reflected cat eyes.
Sound of a cat and million toogather but I could that last line off
I love that first one too, wonderful idea of the golden penny transforming.
Jessica, I like the idea that something gold might turn cold, shiny, silver in a frozen pond? And it made me think of fall leaves encased in ice, too. I wasn’t sure what that last line in poem 2 was supposed to be…
Good morning Laura, what a lush photo. My mind immediately jumped to a morning ritual.
A Delicious Awakening
Shades of brown
wheat straw to Columbian dark roast
their fate
liquid gold/morning toast.
I cheated a bit “with” the slash!
Ha! (Though “toast” confused me for a second.) Great title, too.
I like how you ended with mooring toast
I had to look back at the photo, but the beads could be coffee beans or grains of wheat. What a lovely breakfast you’ve painted with words.
Good morning Laura, what a lush photo. My mind immediately jumped to a morning ritual.
A Delicious Awakening
Shades of brown
wheat straw to Columbian dark roast
their fate
liquid gold/morning toast.
I cheated a bit “with” the slash!
Ha! (Though “toast” confused me for a second.) Great title, too.
I like how you ended with mooring toast
I had to look back at the photo, but the beads could be coffee beans or grains of wheat. What a lovely breakfast you’ve painted with words.
Bead Store
Porcelain, glass,
silver, brass.
Greens and blues,
shimmering hues.
Bins and strings
of possibility.
Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
The only tears in a bead store are mine when I find there are more coveted beads than I have money! 😉
Your poem makes me want to dip my hand in and feel them.
Your poem does make you won’t to take a hand full of deeds Wonderful poem
Beeds
So many beads, so little cash ;-)! A difficult choice indeed, Diane.
I haven’t been grabbed by beading, but know a few who have. The bead stores here thrive! Great wording here, Diane.
Those last two lines! I love the universality of those, following all your specific kinds of beads. You know it’s what knitters see in yarn stores and artists see in paint stores, etc.
Cute Diane. My neighbor is a beading enthusiast and I’ve heard your lament from her lips a number of times.
Bead Store
Porcelain, glass,
silver, brass.
Greens and blues,
shimmering hues.
Bins and strings
of possibility.
Diane Mayr, all rights reserved
The only tears in a bead store are mine when I find there are more coveted beads than I have money! 😉
Your poem makes me want to dip my hand in and feel them.
Your poem does make you won’t to take a hand full of deeds Wonderful poem
Beeds
So many beads, so little cash ;-)! A difficult choice indeed, Diane.
I haven’t been grabbed by beading, but know a few who have. The bead stores here thrive! Great wording here, Diane.
Those last two lines! I love the universality of those, following all your specific kinds of beads. You know it’s what knitters see in yarn stores and artists see in paint stores, etc.
Cute Diane. My neighbor is a beading enthusiast and I’ve heard your lament from her lips a number of times.
Strands of seaweed
side by side,
swaying in unison
with the tide.
I like the rhyming & the idea of golden seaweed.
Oh, lovely! And I always think that’s a haunting/lyrical image of the sea–the kelp forests and such. Brings to mind things both beautiful and horrifying for me.
Vivid picture Ellie, especially the “wavy” action.
Strands of seaweed
side by side,
swaying in unison
with the tide.
I like the rhyming & the idea of golden seaweed.
Oh, lovely! And I always think that’s a haunting/lyrical image of the sea–the kelp forests and such. Brings to mind things both beautiful and horrifying for me.
Vivid picture Ellie, especially the “wavy” action.
Trying to find out why my post is showing “your comment is awaiting moderation” and I’m not receiving the notification of new posts. Ideas appreciated. I have turned pc off and re-booted.
Gremlins in “sigh” berspace again?
I’m not sure why your Comment went to moderation. I’m guessing you’ve been unsubscribed somehow? Try resubscribing by typing your email in the box in the right sidebar and then clicking Subscribe right below it. That widget had disappeared, so I wonder if there was a glitch in my subscriptions. It says 147 people are subscribed, so it definitely didn’t dump all my subscribers, but… Hope this works!
Thanks Laura.
Trying to find out why my post is showing “your comment is awaiting moderation” and I’m not receiving the notification of new posts. Ideas appreciated. I have turned pc off and re-booted.
Gremlins in “sigh” berspace again?
I’m not sure why your Comment went to moderation. I’m guessing you’ve been unsubscribed somehow? Try resubscribing by typing your email in the box in the right sidebar and then clicking Subscribe right below it. That widget had disappeared, so I wonder if there was a glitch in my subscriptions. It says 147 people are subscribed, so it definitely didn’t dump all my subscribers, but… Hope this works!
Thanks Laura.
Even if there be
seas between us,
my heart’s beat
will meet yours
midway.
Andria W. Rosenbaum/ all rights reserved
This is wonderful 🙂
I like the voice, clear message.
Oh, my. My daughter just flew to Scotland last night, so there is a sea between us, and this poem really hits home–not in the romantic way probably intended, but in a core way nonetheless. I love the olde english sound of “if there be.”
Even if there be
seas between us,
my heart’s beat
will meet yours
midway.
Andria W. Rosenbaum/ all rights reserved
This is wonderful 🙂
I like the voice, clear message.
Oh, my. My daughter just flew to Scotland last night, so there is a sea between us, and this poem really hits home–not in the romantic way probably intended, but in a core way nonetheless. I love the olde english sound of “if there be.”
Laura, your poem is strange and very cool! Probably inspired by Amelia, I came up with a rather sinister take on an old tale.
Rapunzel
Rapunzel braids
gold into her long
long hair
and the greedy prince?s
eyes shine.
?Kate Coombs
Your few words seam like a hole story wonderful
Wonderful how you draw the reader into your story with just a few words, Kate!
Love the prince, even more longing now!
Oh, I love all these magically-inspired poems. Yeah, my poem is strange. Not what I intended–realizing I missed the mark:>) Ah, well. Such is the life of a 15WOL poem-er! I love your greedy prince and his shining eyes (and the way the shine is from greed, not love, as usual with shining eyes).
Laura, your poem is strange and very cool! Probably inspired by Amelia, I came up with a rather sinister take on an old tale.
Rapunzel
Rapunzel braids
gold into her long
long hair
and the greedy prince?s
eyes shine.
?Kate Coombs
Your few words seam like a hole story wonderful
Wonderful how you draw the reader into your story with just a few words, Kate!
Love the prince, even more longing now!
Oh, I love all these magically-inspired poems. Yeah, my poem is strange. Not what I intended–realizing I missed the mark:>) Ah, well. Such is the life of a 15WOL poem-er! I love your greedy prince and his shining eyes (and the way the shine is from greed, not love, as usual with shining eyes).
Love the picture personification paints in your poem, Laura.
Thanks, Andria:>)
Love the picture personification paints in your poem, Laura.
Thanks, Andria:>)
Laura, those mermaid’s tears growing legs is rather scary, revenge? It’s quite an amazing chandelier!
The “haves” hide behind
the golden curtains,
keeping the “have-nots”
from entering the room.
Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved
Oh dear. It does kind of sound like that, doesn’t it? Ha–I LOVE hearing how other people interpret these. I meant it to be metaphorical, that her grief is so great that she takes on human form to go to the world of the human she misses–no that the tears actually grow legs. Fail (on my part, not yours!).
I love your detail that the curtain is golden. So much wealth and privilege implied by that one word.
Your verse reminds me of the curtains between First Class and the “have nots” on a plane.
I like how the “haves” are hiding. Those first two lines say so much.
Gold can’t out way the richness of the loved ones in our life one the are gone not even gold can bring them back but it a nice poem
I rely like your poem
Laura, those mermaid’s tears growing legs is rather scary, revenge? It’s quite an amazing chandelier!
The “haves” hide behind
the golden curtains,
keeping the “have-nots”
from entering the room.
Linda Baie ? All Rights Reserved
Oh dear. It does kind of sound like that, doesn’t it? Ha–I LOVE hearing how other people interpret these. I meant it to be metaphorical, that her grief is so great that she takes on human form to go to the world of the human she misses–no that the tears actually grow legs. Fail (on my part, not yours!).
I love your detail that the curtain is golden. So much wealth and privilege implied by that one word.
Your verse reminds me of the curtains between First Class and the “have nots” on a plane.
I like how the “haves” are hiding. Those first two lines say so much.
Gold can’t out way the richness of the loved ones in our life one the are gone not even gold can bring them back but it a nice poem
I rely like your poem
Open Window
Curtains of beads
sway in breeze.
Their swishing sound
gives feeling of ease.
One can almost hear them tinkling.
I can hear the chiming of their sway
I love that swishing, remember those beaded curtains of the hippie time?
I remember the bead curtains our older daughter had–a rainbow wall against the morning sun. Lovely!
Open Window
Curtains of beads
sway in breeze.
Their swishing sound
gives feeling of ease.
One can almost hear them tinkling.
I can hear the chiming of their sway
I love that swishing, remember those beaded curtains of the hippie time?
I remember the bead curtains our older daughter had–a rainbow wall against the morning sun. Lovely!
I borrowed your magical mermaid, Laura!
She spins golden
chains of eggs around her neck–
bling for the mermaid ball
I love the first and scent lines of your poem
Great that ‘bling for the mermaid ball’. Imagination rocks!
Ooh, there’s something about them being eggs that makes this a little bit creepy. I love that!
I borrowed your magical mermaid, Laura!
She spins golden
chains of eggs around her neck–
bling for the mermaid ball
I love the first and scent lines of your poem
Great that ‘bling for the mermaid ball’. Imagination rocks!
Ooh, there’s something about them being eggs that makes this a little bit creepy. I love that!
Laura I liked your leaf thought
A tree
Even in wither
Is to be remembered
As she leaves her
Frosty leaf prints
Silver stars
Etchings of
time
Poem By Jessica Bigi
I can almost see those maple-leaf-shaped “stars,” Jessica!
Laura I liked your leaf thought
A tree
Even in wither
Is to be remembered
As she leaves her
Frosty leaf prints
Silver stars
Etchings of
time
Poem By Jessica Bigi
I can almost see those maple-leaf-shaped “stars,” Jessica!
Touching poem, Laura — love the imagery, esp. mermaid tears! I saw something other than beads:
PRIDE
Sneak in the den ?
so brave, so daring ?
while eyes of 1000 cats
are staring.
- ? Matt Forrest Esenwine
I could see cat eyes also
Nice poem
Oh, I saw those eyes, but forgot in the golden shine. Terrific Matt!
I miss having cats — my husband and I are both allergic:>( — but I admit I don’t miss the spookiness of being startled by a pair of golden eyes in the dark when I thought I was alone!
Touching poem, Laura — love the imagery, esp. mermaid tears! I saw something other than beads:
PRIDE
Sneak in the den ?
so brave, so daring ?
while eyes of 1000 cats
are staring.
- ? Matt Forrest Esenwine
I could see cat eyes also
Nice poem
Oh, I saw those eyes, but forgot in the golden shine. Terrific Matt!
I miss having cats — my husband and I are both allergic:>( — but I admit I don’t miss the spookiness of being startled by a pair of golden eyes in the dark when I thought I was alone!
Couldn’t make up my mind so here’s 2 versions.
SUPPER TIME
Kaleidoscopic sparkles
Bathe us every night,
We?re dining in a rainbow
Of chandeliered light.
CHANDELIER
Kaleidoscopic sparkles
Bathe us from the chandelier
Turning our family
Into human rainbows.
© Charles Waters 2014 all rights reserved.
I love the language of the first, but those human rainbows are wonderful in the second!
Couldn’t make up my mind so here’s 2 versions.
SUPPER TIME
Kaleidoscopic sparkles
Bathe us every night,
We?re dining in a rainbow
Of chandeliered light.
CHANDELIER
Kaleidoscopic sparkles
Bathe us from the chandelier
Turning our family
Into human rainbows.
© Charles Waters 2014 all rights reserved.
I love the language of the first, but those human rainbows are wonderful in the second!