Happy Poetry Friday! Welcome, everyone! (Wondering what Poetry Friday is? Click here.)
Before moving on to my poem this week, I have a question for you. Do you know of one or a few kids ages 4-6 who would like to be in the book trailer for my first fiction picture book? The book comes out Aug. 1, 2020, and I’ll be creating the trailer soon. If you’re interested, check out the details here. Thank you! (Feel free to forward this to teachers or other you think might be able to help.)
So, this month, our Poetry Princess challenge was to look back at one of our previous poems and either revise it (which I often say I’m going to do and then don’t) or write a poem in conversation with it. I decided to revisit my tanka exploring the nature of truth that I shared here. I was never happy with the comparison to a rock that lots of people wouldn’t have any idea what it looked like. In my revision, I went for something a bit more recognizable.
I also did a screen capture of my revision process, which I’m sharing with my Writer in Progress Patreon Group (as soon as I can figure out how to speed it up, which YouTube doesn’t do any more, apparently).
I’m looking forward to seeing what my Poetry Sisters have come up with–right along with you guys!
Click here to see all our previous Poetry Princesses collaborations.
Karen Edmisten has the Poetry Friday Roundup this week. Check it out :>)
Linda Mitchell says
An origami bird…with more than one side. That makes so much sense. I love the image your poem is embedded in and the surprising word, breath. Great revision!
Thank you, Linda!
Liz Garton Scanlon says
I revisited my tankas too! We were synched up! I love this new way of looking at an old truth, Laura, especially because you’ve somehow made the mutability hopeful instead of maddening or even scary. Wonderful…
Aw, man, three NEW tanka? Whew. I barely made it through one revision :>) But I do like it better.
Ooh, that’s beautiful, Laura. I really liked the first one – even though I did have to look up the rock, and I still want one – but the origami is gorgeous, and the idea of it as truth… is gorgeous. I think the phrase “creases, breath, and hope” is in itself a poetic geometry of straight lines and precise folds. Lovely.
Thank you, Tanita! I’m not sure how that line came about, and as soon as I figure out my sped-up video, I’m going to watch it to find out! Hehehe. Because it’s my favorite phrase in the whole dang thing.
Sara Lewis Holmes says
Wow. What a unique and striking poem and image…LOVE! I found this challenge fun. It’s always easier to start with something other than a blank page, for one thing, and I also found it enlightening to explore revision as a re-visiting process, sort of like going out the door, and coming back in by a new one.
Great metaphor, Sara. I struggled with this one (and will throughout the year, I suspect), because…I guess once I do a poem specifically for our monthly post, my brain thinks I am finished with it. So it was interesting to come back in and do surgery on it again…
Rose Cappelli says
Thanks for sharing your tanks, Laura. I look forward to seeing your process, also.
Rose Cappelli says
Thanks, Rose–hoping to share it today if I can make technology cooperate!
janice scully says
Laura, it’s a lovely metaphor, a red origami bird as truth. Something to think about.
Thank you, Janice! Truth, like origami, seems difficult to attain or even (if done poorly) to recognize, sometimes.
Tricia Stohr-Hunt says
I love this iteration, but as a rock nerd, I also loved the lines about jasper in the original poem. This new poem gives me a lot to chew on in relation to the nature of truth. I like that.
Hahaha–I can totally appreciate that, rock nerd. I have a new grade 1 author visit presentation that half centers on rocks and my A ROCK CAN BE… book, newly created at the request of a school who had just finished a rock unit. It was so fun to get to share my excitement for rocks with them, and with a book I rarely share.
Janet F. says
Well, this has been a wonderful travel through all sorts of poetry and places. I followed many of the trails you set out. I read your first draft and visited Tanita’s post. Wow, truly so wonderful to be surrounded by such writers and thinkers. Lucky you (and me for reading). There is so much to learn here at Poetry Friday and especially in your thoughtful posts. I like how you include that truth can have creases. I read the curtal sonnet that Tanita wrote looking for the inspiration and the background. My mind is spinning. By the way I am trying to find out if someone I know my want to participate in your book trailer. We will see. You are a busy person and all that energy exudes and inspires. So glad I am making tonight a Poetry Friday journey.
Aw, thank you, Janet, on all counts! I totally agree. When I can take a few hours (sometimes more than a few) to visit PF posts and fall into all the rabbit holes…it’s like a master class in imagination and wordcraft and poetry. I plan to visit some posts this weekend. Can’t wait to hear if your special someone might be in my trailer. I would love it to be kids I “know,” even if only through their own special people:>)
Sue Reichard says
I love this Laura! Love the theme, and the origami analogy! Lovely!
I liked reading the old versus this new one, Laura, and especially like the idea of truth and ‘creases’. Hmm, something to ponder when we try to find the real truth lately. Great changes!
This is very perceptive, Laura…the many sides of a matter. I like it very much and will think further on this idea. Thank you so much for this insight!
Michelle Heidenrich Barnes says
It was interesting reading both versions, Laura. Apparently truth is also a many-sided poem! I do love that origami crane metaphor, though.
Karen Edmisten says
Oh, this is beautiful, Laura! I really liked your first versions, too, but I think I love the origami bird. 🙂
Buffy Silverman says
Lovely tanka, Laura–“built of creases, breath, and hope” is swoon-worthy! My younger kid used to make origami cranes out of colored-paper napkin rings whenever we went out to eat, so your origami bird made me smile.
Michelle Kogan says
To pick up on what Michelle mentioned above–yes to the many sides of truth. And I do like the analogy of creases with truth, it’s not always a smooth ride there but hopefully light will shine through it’s “breath, and hope.”