Putrid Poetry: Day 4: Pimple Popping

Louis J. Pasternak
Poetry Assignment #4: Repetition

Pimple Popping

There’s a pimple on my cheek
and I’m dying just to pop it
I was picking at it yesterday
’til Marty hollered, “Stop it!”

It’s shiny and it’s white
and I’m dying just to pop it
Bran shows off his callus
but he knows that doesn’t top it

I’d love to see it burst
and I’m dying just to pop it
The pus would spray and squirt out
and I’d have to stop and mop it

Miss S – It’s really about my older brother, Alex. But it sounded grosser if I made it sound like it was me.

Louis, I am speechless.

Yes! Score one for me.
Bran yanked this poem off my desk. He read it and pretended to pop a giant pimple toward Arami. She was grossed out. Then he passed it on to Marty.
Marty farted. So you know it was good.

By recess, everyone had read my poem.
“C’mon, how’d you miss that shot?”
“Louis’ pimple was distracting me!”
“Where you going, Louis?”
“He has to stop and mop it!”
I.
Was.
A.
Poetry.
Star.

8 Responses

  1. Laura, I love these poems! Having raised two boys, and now I have two granddaughters in middle school, I know these are perfect for middle schoolers. Will there be a hard copy book in the future?

    1. Thanks, Pat. I wish! Only 2 people have even paid $3.95 to download it, so while I had thought that if it did well, I might turn it into a Kindle book or paperback book, there’s too much work involved in that for the few people who would likely buy it. I wanted to make it available, so I’m giving it away free on the blog and as an inexpensive downloadable. But I just can’t afford to put more time into it for no return. It came close to being picked up by a publisher a couple of times, but no go. It made the rounds from 2008 to 2015, but when the latest interested publisher backed out, I decided to just share it. It doesn’t easily fit into a common trade book format, so it’s a hard match for publishers. Thanks for asking, though:>) Glad you’re enjoying the poems! (Please share–maybe word will get around…)

  2. I too have been enjoying Louis’ poetry, especially this one which made me laugh out loud! I can see how the collection would have attracted editors’ attention. Phooey for no one taking it–but I’m glad you’re sharing it.

  3. I am glad you are sharing it too…thank you, Laura. Like the teacher, I was speechless today. Told my family about the poem at dinner, and we all got a good laugh imagining the Louis! xx

    1. Thanks, Amy! Shh, don’t tell, but this disgusting poem was inspired by one of my own family members and some growing-up memories. eeeuuwww.

  4. Laura, this poem is hilarious, especially since my husband has a huge pimple that appeared on his nose and makes him look like Rudolph. I am going to read the poem to him. I am surprised that publishers aren’t clamoring to pick up this humorous series.

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