Happy Poetry Friday! Welcome, everyone! (Wondering what Poetry Friday is? Click here.)
So, this month, our Poetry Princess challenge was from me: Roll a set of metaphor dice and write a poem inspired by your metaphor. If you don’t have metaphor dice, try an online metaphor generator, like this one: https://perchance.org/ve4axzbkx4
I feel kind of bad that I didn’t enjoy this process all that much. Maybe it’s because of all the tech problems I was having while trying to write this poem. And it came out very general and abstract. I did one revision, in my Write Alone Together session on Monday, and I like it a little better. But still. Not crazy about the whole thing–I hate it when I don’t respond well to my own dang writing prompt! I hope you had more fun with it than I did! If so, share it on your blog or in the comments here–or on social media with #PoetryPals.
Okay, here’s what I wrote in response to “Talent is a birdcage.”
And don’t forget to see what my Poetry Sisters have come up with! I was so glad that we were able to write together, all 7 of us, last Sunday. It’s amazing.
Click here if you’d like to see all our previous Poetry Princesses collaborations.
Want to try next month’s challenge and post with us? We’d love for you to join us! Here’s the prompt: dizzying dizains. (Here’s a bit about dizains.) Apparently, we wrote dizains back in March 2019. That’s the only (I think) month I’ve missed posting with my poetry sisters, so dizains will be brand new to me, too! Share your poem on March 26 in a post and/or on social media – #PoetryPals. Hope you’ll join us!
Also, make sure to stop by Karen Edmisten’s blog for the Poetry Friday Roundup! I’m so grateful for this patient and encouraging community.
This is something so completely different from you, Laura. But I like that you have kept pulling me up and making me ponder as I read. And I’m still thinking about it – will take your metaphors away with me for thought during the day. (Fact: There is no pressure quite like the pressure of performing to your own prompt!)
Linda Baie says
It’s interesting that you don’t like it. I think it’s mixed up & shows the clear frustration when something one wants so much does.not.work. You jump around, you play out that paintbrush part, then, egads, the bat’s back. I like it!
Matt Forrest Esenwine says
I agree, it feels different for a LPS poem, but I think it’s interesting the way you move from talent being a ticket to being quite the opposite. Molly had a metaphor poem, too – so I think I need to find out more about these dice & generators!
Janet F. says
I get a pretty clear picture of a kid/teen who feels deeply about wanting to paint, wanting to be free, wanting a future but feeling stuck….even hopeless. It is sad that life is a cage for too many. And talent? So much untapped potential. Prayers for wisdom. Is my reaction in the ballpark ( seriously no pun intended )…..?? Challenges are good for stretching. I always want perfection which is surely elusive. But at least I am writing, I remind myself.
Yep, that’s the general set-up, Janet :>) Just wasn’t happy with the poem itself. But at lest I am writing–yes!
Sara Lewis Holmes says
This is heart-rending, Laura, not general or abstract at all. I especially love the scraping of shredded paper at his feet, not only because it recalls art paper AND birdcage liner, but it’s as if home plate were as thin as that..a triple metaphor.
The shredded paper is one bit I like, too!
You took two prompts and rolled them into one. The imagery of ticket vs. cage battles to the end. In the end I suspect we’d see that for this kid, the ticket only takes you as far as the cage will let you, and if you’re not careful… the cage stays.
janice scully says
So much to think about in your poem about talent and how we feel as we try to discover and use it. And yes the talent and the cage–much to think about. Thanks for sharing it.
Tricia Stohr-Hunt says
This poem is heartbreaking. I see a lot of kids who think sports is the only way to achieve something. I love those kids who push past the boundaries of stereotypes to pursue their dreams. Thank you for this lovely poem. What a great way to address your metaphor.
Linda Mitchell says
Such a great first line. It starts the story and there’s so many places to go. This reads like a dream one would have. How DID that bat get in here?
Kelly Ramsdell says
Potent, and darker than I expected. I quite like it, especially the frustration, the closing in, and that shredded paper.
I, too, am struck by the arts vs. sports-ness of this poem, and the contrast between ticket and cage.
The cage of talent is fierce! I think your poem is heartbreaking and powerful. You really captured the turmoil of the speaker, desperate to escape, yet trapped by the route out as surely as by staying.
Kay Mcgriff says
There is so much to think about in your poem–how the same talent that offers a way out can trap us in expectations that may not match our dreams.
Liz Garton Scanlon says
You’ve given us an absolutely incredible character study, Laura. I feel like this deserves a book length story. (Hint hint…)
Karen Edmisten says
It’s so interesting to me that you don’t like it (although we all know that feeling well.) 🙂 I don’t think it’s too general or abstract — to me it tells a story about how trapped he feels. I love that his chosen subject is a tiger, a dangerous beauty.
Sorry about the issues you had, but, as others have said before me, I like it! When I saw the link said Laura P. Salad, I wondered if it was someone new! 😀
Michelle Kogan says
I really like the metaphor you chose and how you turned it to suit you–being a ticket out. You were exploring, discovering, painting… I like Liz’s comment too, that perhaps there’s a book in that poem…