Writing a Golden Shovel Poem: Day 4

[You can read Days 1, 2, and 3 by clicking, if you like.]

After writing at Valleyfair, I took my poem on the road next to Taco Bell. I do most of my writing on my laptop or phone, but playing around with short poem drafts lends itself to longhand, sometimes. Here are the drafts I did at Taco Bell.

I started each new draft by writing the end words in first at the far right of my paper.

My drafts up through 4 had the entire poem taking place in her sleep/nightmare. But with draft 5, I tried having her awake at the beginning and then falling asleep.

I was happy with the basic scene at this point.

But I did a little work on the sounds, rearranging words for some alliteration and also wondering if I could be more specific in spots.

When I left Taco Bell, I was generally satisfied with my poem. I could see Tamar (the real girl in the photo that inspired this poem) cold and hungry, escaping into sleep, only to find monsters there, as well. It was very depressing, and I decided it was time to go home!