A Sap and Sun Sedoka with the Poetry Princesses [Poetry Friday]

Happy Poetry Friday!

Last month, we Poetry 7 shared our ekphrastic poems inspired by Picasso sculptures. I was not too happy with either the sculpture OR my poem. I’ll try to be less curmudgeonly this month:>)

This month, we wrote sedoka, and mine was kind of a

last-minute effort. Between travel and speaking engagements in February, by the time I came up for air, I had no idea what was going on. Luckily, Kelly Fineman had created a Google Doc with a definition of the form and two drafts she had written. Hooray!

I’ll let you learn more about the form at Kelly and the other Sisters’ sites, but, basically, it’s a short form with syllable counts, where two parts sort of inform each other? I don’t know whether I accomplished that (ok, having read several today, I can categorically state that I did NOT accomplish that), but I still had fun writing it (unlike the Picasso poem).


Caged inside maple
Sludgy, slow, frozen in place
Needing sun’s gold key of heat
Sun shimmies higher
Flings spring into the forest,
Turns the key to set sap free

–Laura Purdie Salas, all rights reserved

Don’t miss the wonderful offerings of my friends and poets! We took lots of different approaches to this form that we were all unfamiliar with. I love the varied results.

Sara (punny)
Kelly (cats)
Liz (dog)
Tanita (ocean)
Tricia (space)
Andi  (reactions and–Yay! Andi’s back!)

And here are the previous Poetry Sisters collaborations:

February 2016 Poem Inspired by a Picasso Sculpture (ugh)
January 2016 Crown sonnet (on the periodic table)
November 2015 Ekphrastic poems
October 2015 Etherees
September 2015 Found poems
August 2015 Classified haiku
July 2015 Inspired by e.e. cummings’ poems
Jun 2015 Odes
May 2015 Pantoums
Apr 2015 Raccontinos
Mar 2015 Sestinas (Lord have mercy)
Feb 2015 Villanelles on hidden things
Jan 2015 Triolets on beginnings (And I posted an extra one here.)
Pre-2015 Villanelles, a crown sonnet, rondeau redoubles, and pantoums

And teacher-poet-friend Linda Baie has the Poetry Friday Roundup at Teacher Dance. Shimmy around to check out all the great poems being shared.

25 Responses

  1. I love your alliteration here. You poem is just what I need to hear. “Flings spring into the forest,
    Turns the key to set sap free” is exactly what we need to get things started! We have snow again today, and maybe you do too? When is it going to get warm?

    1. Thanks, Andi–so glad you were able to join in again! We are cold, but no snow, which doesn’t seem fair at all!

  2. I’m always gratified to see the list of our poetic accomplishments on your site… and still amused that last month’s Picasso rates an “ugh” in perpetuity. ☺ Hope the sun shimmies on over and unlocks a bit more of the sludgy slush from your world.

    1. It will ALWAYS be an ugh:>) Thanks, Tanita. We just have dry, brown, ugliness right now. Hoping for snow!

  3. I love what you’ve done here. I can clearly see two poems, two perspectives, yet one whole (as Sara put it so eloquently). I’m waiting for the sun and those maple days.

    This is quite nice. Mission accomplished (in case you were wondering)!

    1. Thanks, JoAnn–hope you read the others’ examples. I think they captured the two perspectives aspect of it more.

  4. Oh, but I think you HAVE accomplished what you set out to do — we’ve got the sap and the sun engaging with each other and it is lyrical and lovely. That’s what impresses me — I didn’t think this was a form that leant itself to loveliness, but somehow you found it!

    1. Well, thanks, Liz. Weren’t Tricia’s lovely? I like what we all did–very different versions of the form itself. I’m going to have to try this one again…

  5. I’ll need to learn how it’s “supposed” to work, but I do like your spring poem, Laura. Everyone seems to be getting excited about things growing! Love “gold key of heat”. We are ready!

    1. Thanks, Linda! We got a bit of snow here yesterday–which I love. It’s just a dusting, but if we’re going to have the cold, I want snow, too! The growing can wait a month or two;>)

  6. I disagree with you — I think that your poem DOES work as two separate poems, and two different (but not opposing) viewpoints. Well done!!

    1. Thanks, Kelly–I do like my poem, but…it doesn’t feel very sedoka-like, after reading you guys’! But, hey, anything that draws out a poem makes a good starting point:>)

  7. “The gold key of heat” is an interesting image! The sap’s been running for the past 2 weeks here, so local sugar makers are struggling to get set up. I’ve never heard of sedoka, but now I need to check it out — thanks, Laura!

    1. It’s an interesting form. I’d like to come back to it…I think Tricia (did you check out hers?) and Liz captured what I would like to do with the form–not two steps to something, but one thing–looked at from two different perspectives. Ah, well, now I know what to shoot for next time:>)

  8. Poetry Sister Poetry Fridays are now officially my favorites.

    And who cares if you got the form “wrong,” your poem is all kinds of right!!

    1. Aw, thanks, Mary Lee! And that is exactly what I told myself (the who cares part)! :>)

    1. Thank you, Michelle. I am currently feeling caged in our cluttered, in-the-midst-of-a-million-tiny-projects home. Ugh.

  9. Like you, Laura, I’m wishing for something to cover up all the brown in my yard. I love the imagery in your poem and the sun’s ability to unlock all that deliciousness!

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