Writing a Golden Shovel Poem: Day 5

[You can read Days 1, 2, 3, and 4 by clicking, if you like.]

Well, you guys, I feel like sharing my process makes it sound like I have put hours and hours into this poem! But, really, it was just a stolen 15 minutes here and there. I have spent more time writing the blog posts than writing the poem–which explains why I don’t share my process as often as I would like to!

At this point, I liked the basic scene. I also liked that the scene is a complete contrast with Hopkins’ original poem praising all the beauty in the world. I am all for praising beauty! But I can’t be blind to the horror and heartache. So I am glad that I took the line from Hopkins’ poem and gave those words a whole different world to live in and yet, somehow, I think, skirted along the same theme of looking at the world, of opening our eyes. After having the poem basically in a place I liked, I wanted to work on the sounds.

So, for Day 5, I typed my latest draft in and used highlighting to show matching sounds. This is called a sound diagram, and I don’t do this all the time, but I should! Here’s a post explaining sound diagrams.

Golden Shovel Sound Diagram
In draft 6, I had 35 units of sound that echoed nearby sounds. By playing around a little bit, I ended up with 44 in draft 7. Most of the changes were in the first two lines.

Next up, I want to make this an image poem, and I’ll share the final result on this Poetry Friday!

Save

Save

Save

7 Responses

  1. I’ve seen sound diagrams like this on poem analyses, but never thought to actually use them in my writing — I just go by my ear. I’ll have to try this sometime!

    1. I rarely do it, but every time I do, I think, Hey, I should do this more often. Did it recently on a pb ms and it really strengthened it.

  2. I love that you do this. I read aloud a lot and sometimes use a metronome for meter, but I haven’t done this. I may need to try it one day.

    Thank you for sharing all these process posts. I’ve so loved this behind the scenes peak.

  3. It’s not a program specific to poetry that you’ve used to mark sounds, right? That’s just you and the highlighter function, yes? I always feel like I’m so out of the loop in terms of tools for whatever; people sing the praises of Scrivener, etc. etc., but I fear I will always only be able to draft first with paper and pen, then type out my draft to play with it in Notepad, then do something interesting like play with the imagery or line breaks. I am determinedly old school.

  4. Wow.…you are so purposeful! I love the golden shovel form. I’ll be sharing one for PF tomorrow. You will laugh at my process.

    1. Start on a power point screen with 2 text boxes
    2. Text box on the right are the words of the golden “line”
    3. Text box on the left are the words leading to the golden “word” but left justified.
    4. Then, I work on one line at a time.…taking breaks between because it’s more intense than other forms…a sudouko of sorts!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,516 other subscribers

Are You Looking For?

Poetry Friday posts

Classroom Connections posts

All my poetryactions

Go to my Poetry page for:

  • National Poetry Month projects through the years
  • Small Reads Roundups (poems grouped by topic)
  • Introductions to several favorite poetry forms
Tags
#waterpoemproject15 Words or Less Poems20for2030 Painless Classroom Poems50 State Poemsacrosticsactivity pagesactivity sheetALAA Leaf Can Be...Amy Ludwig VanDerwaterA Need to FeedanthologiesanthologyA Rock Can Be...art projectsaudiopoemsawardsbad newsBarbara Juster EsbensenBilly Collinsbiopoemsblog tourbookalikesbook festivalsBookSpeak!book spine poemsbook trailersbop poembyr a thoddaidcafepresscalendar poemsCamp Read-a-LotCan Be... bookscan be... poemsCapstoneCarol Varsalonacascade poemsCatherine FlynnccbcCCRA.W.3CCRA.W.4CCRA.W.5centoschapter bookschoral compositionschristina rossetticinquainsCLAclassified ad poemsclassroom connectionclassroom connectionsClover Kittyconferences and conventionscrown sonnetscybilsdansaDare to DreamDavid Elliottdeeper wisdom poemdefinitosdiamantesdiversitydizaindodoitsuDot DayDouglas Floriandownloadablesdrum corpse.e. cummingsekphrastic poemsepistolary poemsequation poemsessentialethereeseventsexquisite corpseFairy Tale Garage Salefamilyfibonaccifiction picture booksfinding familyfirefightersforeign editionsfound poemsfree author zoomsfree versefrom studentsgeesegeorgia heardghazalGift Taggiveawaygolden shovelgoldilocksgratitudehaikuheart of aheart of a teacherHeidi MordhorstHelen FrostHighlightshow-to poemshow to make a rainbowI Am FromI Am poemsidiomsif you want to knit some mittensIf You Were the MoonILAimagepoemsinterviewin the middle of the nightIRAIrelandIrene LathamJ. Patrick LewisJanet WongJoyce SidmanKendraKerlanKidlit Comboslailaura's board booksLaura's booksLaura's poemsLaura's readingsLaura ShovanLee Bennett HopkinsLilian MoorelimericksLinda Booth SweeneyLine Leads the WayLion of the Skylist poemslittle free librarylive writingLullaby and Kisses Sweetlyricsmadness poetrymargaret simonMarilyn Singermary lee hahnmask poemsMeet My FamilyMelissa StewartMentors for Rentmentor textsmetaphorMichelle Myers LacknerMillbrookMinnesota Book Awardsmoneymoonmy reading lifemy writing processN+7naaninarrative poemsNational Poetry Month 2012 (haiku a day)National Poetry Month 2014 (riddle-ku)National Poetry Month 2015National Poetry Month 2016National Poetry Month 2017 (#wonderbreak)national poetry month 2018 (haiku a day)National Poetry Month 2020National Poetry Month 2021 (#EquationPoem)national poetry month 2022 (sticky-note poems)National Poetry Month 2023 (Digging for Poems)National Poetry Month 2024 (magnipoems)ncteNerdy Book Clubnifty newsnifty stuffNikki Grimesnonfictionnonfiction booksNonfiction Writers Dig Deepnovelsnovels in verseodesOne Minute Till BedtimeoppositifyOskar's VoyagepadletpantoumsparodiesPatreonpeacepersonalpet poemsphotopoetryphrase acrosticspicture booksplagiarismpoempicspoemspoems for two voicespoemsketchpoetic pursuitsPoetry 7poetryactionspoetry activitiesPoetry Blastpoetry booksPoetry FridayPoetry Friday AnthologiesPoetry Princessespoetry promptspoetry sistersPoetry Tips for Teachersprogressive poempublishing processpuddle songPutridquotationsraccontinosRandy Salasread-aloudreadaloudreading poetry in the classroomRebecca Kai Dotlichrecipe poemsrefugeesresearchreview copiesreviewsrevisionrhyming booksrhyming nonfictionrhyming picture booksRhyming Picture Books the Write Wayrhyming poemsRiddle-kuriddle poemsRock Can Be...Rock the Blogrondeau redoublesRudyard Kiplingsalas snippetsSCBWIschool visitsScotlandseasonssecrets of the loonSELsestinasshrinking daysskinnyskypeslice of lifesmall readssnack snooze skedaddlesnowman-coldsonnetsStampede!storm poemstorytimestorywalkstudent poemsstudent workSylvia VardellTanita Davistankatautogramteachableteacher resourcesteen/adult poemsterza rimasthankfulthank yous and referencesthe business sidethings to do iftracy nelson maurertrioletstunie munson-bensonvideosVikram MadanvillanellevillanellesWater Can Be...wealthy elementaryWe BelongWhat's InsideWhy-kuwinterwonderwonderbreakword of the yearwordplaywordsmithswork for hirewritingwriting bookswriting processwriting promptswriting the life poeticyoung authors conferencesYouTubeZapZap Clap Boomzenozentangle
Show More Show Less

Discover more from Laura Purdie Salas

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Join Laura's monthly newsletter for eductators

Get three of Laura's favorite poetry activities when you subscribe to "Small Reads."